House in Monagoul

Explorer Tom Saint Peter in Chains Church in Ballydaniel has pointed arches that look like they’re ready for combat. It replaced an older church, so it definitely knows all the gossip from the previous century. Go on and whisper your sins, it’s already heard worse.

Explorer Tom Water pump in Ballydaniel has a lion’s head on it, which is either brave or delusional. It’s still working, so give it a wave before you get cursed for ignoring royalty. Just remember to tip the lion, it expects a few pence.

Explorer Tom Garryvoe Castle is hiding under the ivy like a shy kid. It has a wicker-centred vault, which sounds fancy but is basically straw and hope. The door lintel is cracked, so be careful not to let the past fall on your head!

Explorer Tom Inchiquin Castle is a round tower sitting right by the river. It has a wicker-centred dome that’s mostly broken. The windows are splayed out like they’re trying to see everything. Watch out for the drawbar socket; it’s higher than your feet!

Explorer Tom Graveyard in Castlemartyr is an overgrown yard with an earthen bank and a causewayed entrance, which sounds like a very old parking lot. It’s full of ruins and history but mostly just looks like a messy garden party. Bring a friend who talks too much and let the place shut them up.

Explorer Tom St Colemans Cathedral in Townparks has been repaired so many times it’s basically a patchwork quilt of stone. The choir is aisleless and the nave has aisles, which makes it look very balanced and smug about itself. Snap one for me if you see it!

Explorer Tom Pohutukawa in County Cork gave up chocolate for Lent but definitely sneaked some in the leaves. It’s a New Zealand tree pretending it belongs here. Ideal spot for a dramatic phone call about your ex.

Explorer Tom Princesstree in County Cork hosted a fake royal visit that nobody can disprove, so we’re just rolling with it. It’s fancy and it knows it. Pick a stone, any stone, and invent its entire biography on the spot.