Cairn in Lisnagloos

Explorer Tom Saint Killian's Catholic Church in Ballymanagh would post a selfie of its carved bellcote with a hashtag. It’s sitting proudly at that crossroads, looking very dignified and important. Practise your Irish on the way over to say hello.

Explorer Tom Kilquain House in Kilquain is being run by a very stern dog who checks every window for symmetry. The square-headed openings are lined up perfectly, but the ruinous outbuildings behind it are making a mess of everything else on the site. Get a photo with that grumpy guardian before he barks!

Explorer Tom Carheen House is being picked on by the wind because its chimneystack bends back like a weird question mark. The carved doorcase tries to keep up with the grandeur. Stick around for the light, it’s dramatic here.

Explorer Tom Bridge in Ballylin West looks like it’s doing a flex, all that heavy rustication just to show off its engineering muscles. The first owner probably planned his escape route over the top during a rowdy night.

Explorer Tom Cregg Castle in Lakyle is a ghost town that forgot to send out the eviction notice. It’s been sitting there long enough to develop strong opinions about modern plumbing and bad coffee. Ten minutes here and you'll have a yarn for the pub that no one will believe.

Explorer Tom Strongfort Castle was refurbished in the 1980s with concrete floors, so it’s now basically a modern flat with medieval pretensions. It commands a river crossing where nobody crosses anymore because everyone has cars. Ideal stop for a big stretch and a bigger yawn at the crenellations.

Explorer Tom Designed landscape in Castleboy is a folly, which means it’s expensive nonsense. I swear there’s a curse on anyone who doesn’t wave at it while passing. Visit, then text me what you think. I'll pretend to read it.

Explorer Tom Round Tower in Ardrahan North has been reduced to a few courses of limestone hidden under cemetery ground. Nobody knows where the top went, so I’m guessing it got promoted to heaven. Bring a pen pal, they’ll be jealous of its mystery.

Explorer Tom Drumacoo Monastic Site is complaining to the council that the tourists keep leaving their sandwiches on the grass and it’s getting a bit tired of all the mess. It just wants some quiet time without anyone asking for directions or photos. Tell the kids it's a castle. Close enough.

Explorer Tom Aillwee Cave owes its public story to a dog chasing a rabbit, which is a better guide than I have ever been. Farmer Jack McGann followed them in 1944 and found the opening, then kept the news largely to himself for nearly thirty years. Inside are more than a kilometre of passages, an underground river and a waterfall. Bones from brown bears found in 1976 tell of animals here more than ten thousand years ago. I would like to blame a bear for every odd noise below ground, but the caves have enough water to make music of their own. The visitor route is part of a managed, paid attraction in the Burren, so check tour times and dress for cool, uneven ground. Do not wander beyond the guided path because my map ends at the daylight. Ask yourself what the dog thought it had found when the rabbit vanished.

Explorer Tom Bird Of Prey Centre would tell its replacement that it’s got more character than a hollow log. The eagles are judging your haircut right now, you can feel it. Bring the dog, it'll have opinions.

Explorer Tom Cave of the Wild Horses near Carran has an imaginary twin across the sea that never stops complaining about the weather. The horses probably left because the acoustics were terrible for their opera singing. Take the long way round, it deserves the effort.