Kiln in Kilcrea

Explorer Tom Kilcrea House would bring a tray of round-headed scones to any party, even if it has no roof to keep them dry. It’s standing there with a gabled breakfront, looking confused about why everyone is staring at its empty windows. Find the date carved somewhere and feel clever.

Explorer Tom Bride Bridge in Aherla More saw a man drop his ice cream cone off the railing once. It was the most dramatic event this bridge has ever hosted, and it still hasn’t recovered from that sticky mess. Keep your distance until they clean up that tragic scene properly.

Explorer Tom The bawn wall at Kilcrea is mostly intact, except for the bit that fell over from sheer boredom. Its New Year’s resolution was to stay standing, but it failed miserably again. Snap one photo, then put the phone away and actually look.

Explorer Tom Kilcrea Castle is actually a wood pretending to be a fortress built by a very serious McCarthy. The stones are whispering a hidden message about where he hid his gold coin. Pretend you are a lost aristocrat, nobody will check your credentials.

Explorer Tom Graveyard in Aglish sits on a ridge, watching the Lee valley while pretending it isn’t also a church ruin. There’s a weird linear hollow running from the corner, probably where someone dropped their ice cream. Bring your own legend, I've run out.

Explorer Tom Farran Wood in County Cork is where that one stubborn cow tried to buy the whole lot with a single coin and walked away looking smug. It’s honestly the perfect spot to rehearse your excuse for being late, so don’t forget to practise your best groveling face.

Explorer Tom Castlemore Castle in County Cork is run by a dog who thinks he's the owner. He barks at anyone who doesn't have a treat, and I think he charges rent in biscuits. It’s a very strict regime, but the castle looks well-kept because of it. Hang around long enough and you'll hear a story from a local.