Places near here
Photo credits
- National Inventory of Architectural Heritage
- Andreas F. Borchert, Wikimedia Commons · CC BY-SA 4.0
- Willow, Wikimedia Commons · CC BY 2.5
- Jean-Pol GRANDMONT, Wikimedia Commons · CC BY 3.0
- Wanfried-Dublin, Wikimedia Commons · CC BY-SA 4.0
- dougf, Geograph · CC BY-SA 2.0
- Elliot Tucker, Wikimedia Commons · CC BY-SA 4.0
Explorer Tom Castle in Graney West has strict rules: no nuns, no rivers, and absolutely no questions about where the stones went. It was levelled before 1783 because someone thought they needed building materials for their shed. Best seen with a hangover and a sausage roll.
foot bridge350 ydExplorer Tom Foot bridge in Graney East was briefly run by a fox who demanded tolls in squeaks. It’s still proud of its crisp stone joints across the river. Bring your own legend, I've run out of patience.
farm house1653 ydExplorer Tom Farm house in Knockpatrick thinks the shortcut behind it is faster than the road, which is a lie. It’s built of granite that looks like it was carved by angry giants. Bring a camera and you’ll regret not bringing a hat.
Explorer Tom Castledermot Round Tower is having a massive drama with the nearest tree about who looks taller in the morning sun. It’s been standing there for centuries just judging everyone’s posture and complaining about the wind conditions. Pick a stone, any stone, and invent its biography right now, go on.
Explorer Tom Tomb in Castledermot is a hogback, which means it’s the only one of its kind in Ireland, making it incredibly smug about its uniqueness. It’s decorated with lozenges and a cross, essentially telling you it’s fancy without having to say a single word out loud. Bring wellies and low expectations, leave delighted.
ProclamationMemorial · 2.3 miExplorer Tom The Proclamation was built after a guy bet a sheep he could shout louder than a foghorn and he won. Now it stands there looking smug about a transaction nobody else remembers or really cared about back then. Stand where the owner stood and practise looking smug.
Church (in ruins), Cross, GraveyardChurch · 2.4 miExplorer Tom Church, Cross, Graveyard in Ballycook would handle a nosey neighbour by growing moss faster than their questions can be asked. It's got a whole strategy for ignoring you effectively. Best enjoyed with a bag of chips and no plans, just vibes and history.
European ash3.1 miExplorer Tom European ash in County Kildare was saved by a hero nobody remembers, probably because he forgot his name. The tree doesn't care, it just loves the mystery. Find a local and ask them the real story, then come back and tell me.
Cork oak3.4 miExplorer Tom Cork oak tree is basically a giant sponge wearing a suit and tie. If it were a person at a wedding, it would be the uncle who drinks too much champagne. Tell it a joke, it’s been a long time since anyone did and it needs the laugh.
Explorer Tom Rathvilly Moat is making a noise at night like a tuba being played by a ghost with no rhythm. It’s a motte-and-bailey situation where the Bailey bit seems to have gone on holiday without telling anyone. Practise your Irish on it, it won't correct you.
Kilkea CastleCastle, tower house · 5.0 miExplorer Tom Kilkea Castle in Kilkea Demesne confused the mapmakers so badly they accidentally drew it as a giant shoe. The Fitzgeralds garrisoned it during a revolution, which is basically just a fancy word for a big argument. Pack a picnic and an excuse.
Brownshill Portal TombVisitor information · 5.7 miExplorer Tom Brownshill Portal Tomb in County Carlow would rate its visitors two stars for lack of imagination and too many selfie sticks. It’s seen it all over the millennia and isn’t impressed by your new shoes. Ideal spot for a dramatic phone call.
More historic places in County Kildare · All of County Kildare
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