Fairy fort or earthen ringfort in Drumbaragh

Explorer Tom Drumbaragh National School has the wind picking on it because it’s got separate doors for boys and girls, which confuses the breeze. It’s still standing with those cast-iron finials looking like little crowns of confusion. Go in good boots and bet you can spot the plaque.

Explorer Tom The Spire of Lloyd is sometimes called Ireland's only inland lighthouse, which is a mighty awkward thing for a lighthouse to be forty kilometres from the sea. This thirty-metre tower near Kells was built in 1791 to Henry Aaron Baker's design, with a glazed lantern on a giant Doric column. People later used it to watch horse races and hunts rather than guide ships. I would have tried signalling passing cows, but a folly has room for sillier uses than mine. The Hill of Lloyd now has a community park around the tower. Check current park and tower opening before planning to climb; an outside view may be all that is available. Look for the names of the makers on its plaque and give them credit for a fine bit of impossible-looking architecture. It is a lighthouse only if you let language have a holiday.

Explorer Tom Tower of Lloyd in Commons Of Lloyd has been watching horse races for so long it’s seen better days. I bet after three pints it would tell you secrets about the Earl. Bring your own binoculars and some luck.

Explorer Tom Barrow in Bellewstown in Meath is a tiny seven-metre circle on a ridge, barely taller than a toddler. A local hero once saved it from being used as a goat toilet. If it's closed, admire it from the road like a polite stalker.

Explorer Tom Hawthorn in Meath has thorns sharp enough to survive any zombie attack without breaking a sweat. It’s the ultimate defense mechanism, looking prickly but actually quite welcoming if you’re brave enough. Stand still and listen, the wind tells it better than me.

Explorer Tom Sweet Chestnut in County Meath would make Saint Patrick choke on his asparagus. It's too sweet for its own good, like a toddler with a lollipop. Stand still and listen, the wind tells it better than me.

Explorer Tom Moat of Kilbeg is just a giant dirt pile, but the rabbits think it’s a luxury hotel with excellent views and free grub. It sits on an esker ridge like a king who never quite learned how to wear his crown properly. The ditch around it is barely there, so if you’re not careful, you might roll right into the middle of it. It's the kind of place that makes a dull Tuesday interesting.