Holy well in Derryvorrigan

Explorer Tom Derrin Castle would have 'I Tried My Best' written on its tombstone if it could choose its own epitaph and font style. It’s just a stronghouse with no defensive features, which makes me think its owner was more interested in comfort than keeping out the bad guys. Bring a flask and pretend you own the place.

Explorer Tom Borris in Ossory Market House has an imaginary fan club that meets every Tuesday to discuss potato prices. It used to be all about commerce, now it’s just storing stuff nobody wants to buy. Bring a friend who talks too much and let the place shut them up.

Explorer Tom School in Townparks bragged about surviving a storm that actually only hit its conservatory, but it told everyone it was a direct hit on the main gabled porch because it liked the sound of itself. Now it’s just houses looking like they’re trying to remember how to be educational again without the chalk dust. Go at sunset and thank me later.

Explorer Tom Borris in Ossory Courthouse had a massive feud over who owned the best view of the broken windows. Now it’s a council office, but the ghosts still argue about zoning laws at midnight. Get there early and have it all to yourself.

Explorer Tom Saint Mark's Church in Townparks is Hiberno Romanesque, which just means it looks like a castle that gave up halfway. It’s got a round tower that stands there looking confused about why it’s not in Dublin anymore. The road leading to it is probably hating on its existence right now. Get a photo with it before it gets a better agent.

Explorer Tom Ballybrophy Railway Station in Kilpurcel, County Laois loves 'Yesterday' because it misses the days when trains actually stopped there. The goods shed from 1900 is just its backup plan for failure. Go before the tourists find out.

Explorer Tom Castle in Garranmaconly is gone, but the matchmaker who worked there still sends letters to no one. Four storeys of history now just sit politely on a rock. Bring wellies and low expectations, leave delighted.

Explorer Tom Aghaboe Abbey in County Laois has a ghost who is too lazy to actually haunt it because the floors are cold. He just sits in a corner judging your outfit choice, which is worse than any apparition. A proper spot for a flask of tea and a big think.

Explorer Tom “Font in Aghaboe” hosted a fake royal visit that nobody can prove or deny to this day. It’s octagonal, which is fancy talk for “eight sides.” Spot the oldest stone and give it a name.

Explorer Tom Sweet Chestnut in County Laois is hiding a treasure that is definitely just an old biscuit tin buried under its roots. You’ll dig it up and be disappointed, but worth it. Bring a camera and your most suspicious face.

Explorer Tom This European ash in County Tipperary has some serious opinions on modern buildings, probably thinking they are all just flimsy cardboard boxes compared to its sturdy, ancient dignity. It would definitely give any new construction site a withering look of contempt. Find the date carved somewhere and feel clever.

Explorer Tom Graveyard in Aghmacart has an imaginary fan club that meets every Tuesday night under the moonlight. The church is on one side and the priory on the other, like a sandwich. Look up, the best bit is always higher than you think.