Walled garden in Collooney

Explorer Tom Convent of Mercy has a front elevation that tries way too hard to impress everyone with its bay windows and moulded details, like it’s showing off for no reason. The matchmaker who used to work there probably knew every single secret in Collooney and used them to her advantage without batting an eyelid. Keep your secrets close to the vest.

Explorer Tom Catholic Church of the Assumption in Collooney would post selfies on social media with filters that make its stained glass look like it’s glowing from within. Sir John Benson designed it to be lofty, and it definitely acts like it, judging your shoes from the high altar. The mosaic walling is doing a lot of work here, so try to match your energy level to its craftsmanship or you’ll feel out of.

Explorer Tom Battlefield in Carricknagat survived a massive storm by just staying put, which is impressive for a spot with such a chaotic history of conflict and confusion. It’s got a real 'I’ve seen it all' attitude that makes you feel like your problems are tiny in comparison to the old wars. Go at sunset and thank me later.

Explorer Tom The Battle of Collooney in County Sligo took about four cups of tea to build up the energy needed for the fighting, and they used them all up. Bartholomew Teeling put up a monument there, which is basically a giant finger wagged at history for forgetting this little scuffle. Stop the car, it's worth the hazard lights.

Explorer Tom European ash in County Sligo was nearly sold as a horse because a farmer mistook its shape for a mane. It’s still standing there, looking deeply unimpressed by our species' lack of attention to detail. Take a breath of that air, it's older than your car.

Explorer Tom Field Maple in County Sligo is cursed so that if you don't wave when passing, your left shoe falls off. It’s not magic, just bad luck with excellent timing. It's the kind of place that makes a dull Tuesday interesting.

Explorer Tom Crannoge in Ballydawley is basically invisible now, which is hilarious because it used to be a massive stone mound in the lough. There was a hero who saved it from being trampled by sheep, but nobody remembers his name or face anymore. Have a look and decide if I was lying.

Explorer Tom Cloghagadaide is three stones in a row, one of which has clearly given up and flopped over. It’s called the Thief’s Stone because it heard your secrets through the walls. Go in good boots and better humour.