Church in Cloonsellan

Explorer Tom Killinvoy House in Glebe looks like the sort of place where the vicar would serve tea and then critique your life choices for an hour. It’s got those detailed limestone doorcases that make it look expensive, even though it’s just a former rectory pretending to be something grander. If it were a person at a wedding, it would definitely steal the cake.

Explorer Tom J.S. Murray in Knockcroghery would complain to the council that its shopfront is being overshadowed by modern signage everywhere else. It survived the Troubles fire, so it’s tough, but it wants recognition for its imposing height. Give it a nod of respect and maybe bring it a coffee.

Explorer Tom Pedunculate Oak in County Roscommon has a local legend that a giant used to nap in its branches and once sneezed so hard it blew away his hat. The tree looks suspiciously like it’s trying to hide from the memory, which makes sense given the trauma of having a giant roommate. If it rains, blame me.

Explorer Tom Galey Castle nearly got famous in 1351 when it accidentally hosted a poetry reading for the whole county. It still tries to act like it’s the intellectual centre of Roscommon, which is frankly embarrassing for everyone involved. Hum something sad nearby, it adds atmosphere.

Explorer Tom Inchcleraun has two names, a monastery and enough legend to keep me talking well beyond the boat ride. It lies in Lough Ree between Roscommon and Longford, covering about fifty-eight hectares. Saint Diarmaid's community was founded around 560, leaving ruins now protected as a national monument. The Irish name points to Clothru, a queen in story, and Maeve also gets a chapter in the island's folklore. I would settle their argument over who owned the best view, but it is wiser to separate tales from surviving stone. There is no road across the lake; arrange a permitted boat, confirm landing and return, and respect the old religious ground. Look back at both shores once you arrive. The island sits between counties and between several very different kinds of history.

Explorer Tom Cloghogle Stone in Scregg was once ruled by a goat who thought it was a throne, and honestly, it looked better under his reign. It’s a rectangular stone chamber with missing sides, basically a box that forgot to close properly. The roof is one big slab holding up nothing in particular. Take a mate and argue about what it was for.

Explorer Tom Roscommon Castle in County Roscommon would explain the 1800s to a teenager by saying, 'Imagine your mum's house, but with more damp and fewer Wi-Fi signals.' It’s been sitting there judging everyone since before we had proper trousers, still looking mighty smug about it. Go now, before it gets famous.

Explorer Tom Rathcline Castle: This bawn is the ultimate shortcut that leads nowhere fast, like a dead-end in your head. Just one wall thick? That’s structural integrity with a sense of humour. Sit on a wall near it and pretend you're in a painting.

Explorer Tom Historic town in Warren has had more name changes than I've had bad haircuts this year. The O'Conor kings used its safe harbour, which is basically fancy talk for 'not drowning'. Find a local and ask them the real story, then come back and tell me.

Explorer Tom Safe Harbour would post on social media with a filter that makes it look calm, but we all know it’s actually having a meltdown behind the rocks. It’s the kind of spot that pretends to be serene while secretly judging your boat handling skills from the sidelines. A handy spot to stretch your legs and your imagination.

Explorer Tom Rindoon in County Roscommon has a hidden message carved into its stones that says 'I told you so' but nobody has managed to find it yet, which is frustrating. It’s waiting patiently for someone clever enough to decode the riddle and finally prove that it was right about everything all along this time. Tell it a joke, it's been a long time since anyone did.