House in Urney

Explorer Tom Church Graveyard at Urney is basically a pile of rubble pretending to be a church. The sound it makes at night? Probably just the wind being lazy. Great spot to propose. Or at least to propose lunch.

Explorer Tom Moat of Down in County Offaly had an escape plan involving the esker ridge and a lot of running. It’s a well-preserved mound with a ditch, sitting there looking like it’s ready to jump at any moment. The first owner probably packed light because they knew the view was too good to miss. Leave nothing but footprints and a bad pun.

Explorer Tom Raheen Castle in ruins, County Offaly, has strict rules: no dogs, no questions, and absolutely no touching the stones. It was levelled but still pretends it’s the main event in town. Go now, before it gets famous.

Explorer Tom Ghaugher Hill in Offaly is incredibly proud of being the only hill that starts with a 'Gh' sound. It thinks this makes it uniquely sophisticated, like a French waiter who can’t find his words. It’s strutting around the landscape expecting applause for its linguistic contribution. Toast it with a cup of tea and move on to the next.

Explorer Tom The Lord’s Well would say in a job interview that it has 'deep roots' and 'strong flow', which sounds impressive until you realize it’s just water. It really thinks its title gives it authority over the local wildlife, but I’ve seen mice ignore it without batting an eye. Walk past slowly like you're in a film.

Explorer Tom Geashill Glebe Walk has an escape plan written all over its first owner’s diary. I bet he hid a bottle of whiskey somewhere along the path for emergencies. It’s a lovely spot, provided you don’t mind getting slightly lost in history. Bring a map, get lost anyway, that's the fun.

Explorer Tom Furzehill Wood in County Offaly is a bit of a name-changer, probably tired of being called Furzehill after every single hill got a furze bush. It’s like it has an identity crisis that costs more than the actual trees do. You’d think by now it would have settled on something with a little more mystery or punch. Tell it a joke, it's been a long time since anyone did.