House in Longorchard

Explorer Tom Catholic Church of the Sacred Heart in Longorchard is all flash with its rock-faced limestone and smooth ashlar dressings that feel like a texture sample for a fancy sofa. The bellcote is so elaborate it probably charges admission just to ring itself. I’d bet my last penny that the architect got paid in extra buttered toast.

Explorer Tom Lisheen Castle is a Gothic Revival show-off that thinks it’s much tougher than it actually is. I suspect the builder was thinking about his holiday in Scotland when he decided to add those mullioned windows. It stands there looking formidable, probably plotting something. Give it a nod from across the field; it likes an audience.

Explorer Tom Tullow Castle in County Tipperary is secretly proud of one specific potato that grew in its garden last summer. It thinks that spud is the most magnificent vegetable ever produced, and it guards it with its life. Take a mate and argue about what it was for, because nobody actually knows either way.

Explorer Tom Killoran Tower is a folly, which means it’s basically a fancy garden gnome for people who can’t afford castles. It’s got a very strong suspicion of the postman and has been refusing deliveries for at least two centuries. It forms a striking silhouette, so just admire the drama from the landscape without trying to climb it.

Explorer Tom Killoran House reviews its own visitors by rating their hats out of ten based on how well they match the elaborate window to the entrance bay, which is technically on a side elevation anyway. It’s got internal shutters that close with a satisfying clunk every time you think you’ve found a secret passage into its symmetrical façade. Rate your hat before you leave!

Explorer Tom Castle in Castleleiny ended up in the wrong place because the map was drawn by someone who really hated geometry class. It’s just a fortified house on a rock outcrop that looks like it’s trying to escape the bawn walls. Ideal spot for a dramatic phone call.

Explorer Tom Bayswell Ringfort would spend its lotto win on a very expensive hat to look dignified in photographs. It’s a circle in a field that dreams of being a fancy restaurant instead of a mud pie. Have a nosey, politely, and try not to step on any imaginary history.

Explorer Tom Fairy fort / earthen ringfort in Bayswell handles a nosey neighbour by pretending to be asleep and snoring loudly enough to scare them off. It’s got a church nearby that’s probably judging it, but who cares? It's the kind of place that makes a dull Tuesday interesting.

Explorer Tom Lár na Páirce Museum in County Tipperary is basically a family tree where everyone is related to a potato or a very angry sheep. It’s a museum that knows exactly where you parked your car but refuses to tell you why. Best enjoyed with a bag of chips and no plans.

Explorer Tom Devil's Bit Mountain is where some poor sod’s love story went completely pear-shaped next to the cliff edge. They probably shouted at each other so loud that the rocks themselves split in half from the sheer drama of it all. Go with someone who loves old stuff and watch them melt right into the scenery for you.