Tullow Castle

Explorer Tom Catholic Church of the Sacred Heart in Longorchard is all flash with its rock-faced limestone and smooth ashlar dressings that feel like a texture sample for a fancy sofa. The bellcote is so elaborate it probably charges admission just to ring itself. I’d bet my last penny that the architect got paid in extra buttered toast.

Explorer Tom Castle in Castleleiny ended up in the wrong place because the map was drawn by someone who really hated geometry class. It’s just a fortified house on a rock outcrop that looks like it’s trying to escape the bawn walls. Ideal spot for a dramatic phone call.

Explorer Tom Saint Anne's in Clonmore was built right after Catholic Emancipation, so it’s got that fresh-off-the-press energy all wrapped up in stone. I bet smugglers used to hide contraband behind the altar when the priest wasn’t looking. Give a little wave to Saint Anne herself!

Explorer Tom Lisheen Castle is a Gothic Revival show-off that thinks it’s much tougher than it actually is. I suspect the builder was thinking about his holiday in Scotland when he decided to add those mullioned windows. It stands there looking formidable, probably plotting something. Give it a nod from across the field; it likes an audience.

Explorer Tom Castle Pierce is run by a dog named Bob who knows more than the owner. It’s a fortified house in a boggy field, which is just fancy talk for 'muddy'. Ten minutes here and you'll have a yarn for the pub.

Explorer Tom Crucifixion plaque in Bayswell is embedded in a wall near a holy well, where a bird refuses to leave and judge your prayers. Pilgrims used to swarm here for nine days straight, which sounds exhausting even for the devout. If it rains, blame me.

Explorer Tom Ladys Well in Bayswell was dug by someone who definitely wanted a break from the heat. It’s tucked in a rock cleft, judging you for your choices. Go on a wet day, it suits the mood.

Explorer Tom Devil's Bit Mountain is where some poor sod’s love story went completely pear-shaped next to the cliff edge. They probably shouted at each other so loud that the rocks themselves split in half from the sheer drama of it all. Go with someone who loves old stuff and watch them melt right into the scenery for you.

Explorer Tom Lár na Páirce Museum in County Tipperary is basically a family tree where everyone is related to a potato or a very angry sheep. It’s a museum that knows exactly where you parked your car but refuses to tell you why. Best enjoyed with a bag of chips and no plans.

Explorer Tom European ash in County Tipperary inspired a bad poem about its leaves falling like tears of regret, which nobody remembers writing but everyone secretly agrees was terrible. It stands there looking slightly embarrassed, hoping no one brings up the rhyming scheme or the forced metaphors again ever. Ten minutes here and you'll have a yarn for the pub.