Horse Museum

Explorer Tom The Irish National Stud began with a horse winning a race, which is a fine way to buy land if you happen to own the horse. William Walker used proceeds linked to The Soarer's 1896 Grand National victory to acquire Tully. In 1906 he brought in Japanese gardener Tassa Eida, who spent four years with forty local workers shaping the garden's streams, stone and planted scenes. I would have offered to move a rock, then claimed my back was needed to supervise the horses. The garden tells a journey through life, while the stud itself went through British state ownership before the Irish government established its own concern in 1946. That is more turns than the garden path alone can explain. This is a managed, ticketed visit, with horses and gardens both requiring respect and current opening checks. Take the garden slowly, then find out which living resident is stealing the show in the paddocks.

Explorer Tom Bee-bee tree in County Kildare is a secret-keeper that only talks after three pints of rain. It’s got a story about being fancy that it won’t share. Bring a friend who talks too much and let the place shut them up.

Explorer Tom Japanese Gardens in County Kildare nearly got famous when a tourist dropped his ice cream on the koi pond, but the fish seemed unbothered by the sweetness. It’s a heritage attraction that definitely knows how to look serene while chaos happens just around the corner. Best enjoyed with a bag of chips and no plans.

Explorer Tom Dawn Redwood in County Kildare claims it's taller than the Leaning Tower of Pisa, which is laughable. It just needs a hat to make you believe it. Pretend you're a lost aristocrat, nobody will check.

Explorer Tom Holy well in Brallistown Commons has so many names you'd need a spreadsheet just to remember them. It's sitting in a boggy patch, judging your footwear with intense spiritual disappointment. Stand there long enough and someone will ask if you're lost.

Explorer Tom A Sitka Spruce in Kildare, which is like a penguin turning up at a barbecue. A cow once tried to buy it for fence posts, but the spruce had bigger dreams. Great spot to propose. Or at least to propose lunch.

Explorer Tom The National Stud gateway in Kildare is fancy ironwork that thinks it’s better than Buckingham Palace. It’s got a rivalry with the horse inside that nobody talks about because they’re both too proud. Pop by and tell it it’s looking very well-maintained today.

Explorer Tom The Nook makes a creaking sound at night that sounds exactly like a sigh. It’s been an officer’s house and still acts like it has authority. Have a wander and a wonder around the quiet corners.

Explorer Tom Ulster Lodge in Curraghfarm is showing off its gables like it’s about to host a royal banquet. The officer who built it probably thought he’d be living here forever, but the army moved on and his ego didn’t. Bring a flask and pretend you’re inspecting the troops from the gate.

Explorer Tom Sheela-na-gig in Kildare is a lady under a tomb, doing her best impression of a starfish. She was on a bishop's altar before getting moved for a promotion. Look for the ghost, then pretend you didn't.

Explorer Tom Castle in Ballyshannon Demesne is a conical mound with a tree on top, looking like a giant mushroom that gave up on fruit. It handles nosey neighbours by staying quiet. If it rains, blame me.

Explorer Tom Blackhall Castle has a retirement plan involving becoming a very expensive garden shed for the farmyard. Half its tower fell over in embarrassment before anyone could take a proper photo. Look for the ghost, then pretend you didn't.