Hillburn House

Explorer Tom The Rectory in Deerpark has made a New Year's resolution to stop letting the deer eat its garden plants. Richard Langrishe designed it for the southwest angle of the park, so it’s surrounded by hungry animals all year round. Wave a stick at it to signal that the deer are gone!

Explorer Tom Saint James's Church in Horetown South is surrounded by rabbits who have formed a union demanding better grazing rights and a say in the parish council. Joseph Welland designed it back in 1862, probably thinking he was doing something important, but really he just gave the wildlife a lovely meeting hall. The photo from the 50s looks like a dream. Watch out for the burrowing!

Explorer Tom Farm house in Slevoy has a high-pitched roof with protected oat thatch finish. If it were a person at a wedding, I’d say it’s the one quietly eating all the canapés in the corner. It’s got that rugged, local materials vibe, so maybe check if the thatch is still holding up against the wind?

Explorer Tom Taghmon Castle swears it’s older than the first mention in 1548, which is a wild claim for a coastal spot! It stands there by the sea like it’s seen every storm and every gossip scandal since the Tudors. If it's closed, admire it from the road like a polite stalker.

Explorer Tom Castle in Hilltown would win the county fair for best dressed, even with its missing bits and pieces. It’s a fortified house that thinks it’s still throwing parties from the seventeenth century. Best visited with a curious kid and no timetable.

Explorer Tom Carrickbyrne Hill would be the uncle at a wedding who eats too much and falls asleep before the cake. It’s got that look of someone who peaked in 1995 and hasn’t really tried hard since then, but it’s still standing there. Stand back, squint, and it looks like a castle.

Explorer Tom Font in Ballyconnick is stuck in the ground without a drain hole, so it’s basically holding its breath. A cow once tried to buy it for a shiny coin, but the farmer said no. Make a wish, it's had centuries of practice.

Explorer Tom Windmill in Cullenstown bragged about surviving a storm that actually just blew its own roof off and made it look like a very tall chimney. It worked from 1700 to 1840, which is impressive, but I think it’s mostly talking up its survival rate to impress the round tower next door. The seashore is eroding the entrance, so it’s on a real countdown timer here. Perfect place to be dramatically windswe.

Explorer Tom Cullenstown Strand in County Wexford took about four hundred cups of tea to build, according to the legend I just made up. The River Muck flows into it like a lazy cat finding its spot. Go back in winter, it's a different animal.

Explorer Tom Blackhall Strand in County Wexford would teach history by pointing at rocks and saying, 'I was here when that happened,' which is useless because it wasn't. It’s got a natural arch that looks like a giant sneeze. Perfect spot to practise your best tour-guide voice.

Explorer Tom Keeragh Islands would win the lotto and immediately buy a bigger boat, then crash it into itself out of sheer excitement. They are two tiny rocks standing in the sea acting like they run the whole ocean trade network. If it's closed, admire it from the road like a polite stalker.