Hearth in Ask

Explorer Tom Ballytegan House was built on a bargain where Thomas Cooke traded three sheep and a promise to fix the fence for the land and a really good story about his grandfather’s hat. It’s got that compact plan from the early 1800s, but I bet the real value is how it manages to look like it’s judging your hat choice too. Check your reflection if you feel self-conscious.

Explorer Tom Farm house in Ballyscartin has made its New Year’s resolution to stop letting the wind batter its silhouette, but the wind is not listening. It’s a vernacular gem with a rough cut slate roof that looks like it’s been through a few storms and won’t be talking about them. If you hear thumping, just say 'good morning' to the wind.

Explorer Tom Gorey’s Market House is the uncle at a wedding who stands by the cake looking confused about why everyone is dancing while he just wants a quiet drink. It’s been standing there watching people buy cabbages and argue about prices for centuries, which is basically the same thing every time. Take a mate and argue about what it was for.

Explorer Tom Tara Hill is the Wexford one, and it may enjoy telling visitors it stands higher than its famous namesake in Meath. At 253 metres it rises sharply from fairly flat coastal country; the Royal Hill of Tara is lower, though nobody sensible ranks history by height. A cairn marks the summit, with views toward Gorey, Courtown and the Irish Sea. You can spot the hill from Gorey around seven kilometres away. I would claim to have followed it like a beacon, but I still managed to miss a turning. The summit and surrounding land need a proper walking route, so check current access and weather, and leave the cairn untouched. From above, notice how much coast this modest height can command. It earns its own name without borrowing a scrap of Meath's legend.

Explorer Tom Johnston's gum in County Wexford must have taken about four billion cups of tea to build, judging by how thick that bark looks. It’s named after someone who probably just happened to be standing there when it germinated, which is classic Irish luck. The photo shows it peeling like a giant, confused snake. Pick a stone, any stone, and invent its biography.

Explorer Tom This 1798 Monument has an imaginary twin across the sea that they argue about every time the wind picks up from the west. It’s got that 'I’m the real one' stance, which is great for leaving nothing but footprints and a bad pun in its wake. Leave nothing but footprints and a bad pun.

Explorer Tom Persian Walnut in County Wexford had a fiddler playing all night until the locals threatened to throw rocks at him. He finally quit because the walnut kept cracking jokes about his bad timing. Bring a notebook and write the bit I made up.

Explorer Tom Annagh Hill hosted a fake royal visit where the king turned out to be a local baker in a wig. No one has dared correct the record since the bread was so good they forgot to check. Walk past slowly like you're in a film.