Guilty or not Guilty

Explorer Tom The Last Leprechauns of Ireland are suspicious of the postman because they think he’s come to collect rent on their pots of gold. They’ve been hiding in plain sight right here, wearing hats that blend perfectly with the grass and leaves around them. Go in good boots and better humour; you never know what you might trip over.

Explorer Tom The pier in Liberties of Carlingford was designed by a mother-in-law who wanted to keep her son away from the sea. It’s still standing and in use, which is impressive for something built with so much passive-aggressive energy. Wave at the cows, they’re definitely judging you too.

Explorer Tom Carlingford’s worker’s house has a superstition that says touching the sash windows brings good luck, which is why they’re so shiny. It sits on the seafront looking dignified despite being for railway workers. Have a chat with it, nobody will tell you it was listening.

Explorer Tom Carlingford Ogham Stone in County Louth was worked by a matchmaker who thought the notches were actually a list of eligible bachelors to date immediately. She kept trying to pair off the stone with nearby trees, thinking they had a strong romantic connection based on their proximity alone. Visit, then text me what you think. I'll pretend to read it.

Explorer Tom Town Gate’s least favourite visitor is definitely the guy who tries to take selfies under it without looking like he belongs there, ruining the whole aesthetic. It stands at the entrance judging your outfit and your life choices simultaneously, never letting you forget it’s watching. Pretend you're a lost aristocrat, nobody will check.

Explorer Tom Tholsel in Carlingford is a gatehouse that lost its top floor, making it look perpetually shrunk or slightly embarrassed. The seagulls say it’s the best vantage point for judging passersby from above. Bring your nan, she'll know more than me.

Explorer Tom This graveyard in Carlingford is inter-denominational, meaning everyone gets along despite the religious differences. It ended up in the wrong place because the mapmakers were having a bad day. Take the long way round, it deserves the effort.

Explorer Tom Taaffe's Castle near Carlingford is famous for having walls thick enough to stop gossip from getting in or out at all. I reckon the owner just wanted to hide from his wife’s terrible cooking without anyone knowing why he was quiet. Have a sandwich here and call it a heritage lunch.

Explorer Tom Castle in Liberties of Carlingford is feuding with the next village over something daft about fish. Taaffe's Castle has four storeys and zero sense of humour. A proper spot for a flask of tea and a big think.

Explorer Tom Carlingford Castle has King John's name attached, though I suspect Hugh de Lacy would like a word about the building credit. De Lacy raised the west wing in the late twelfth century; an east wing was added around 1261. The D-shaped stronghold guards the harbour with walls roughly 3.4 metres thick. King John is said to have stayed for three days in 1210. The tale that he began drafting Magna Carta here is a local story, not a reason to rewrite the history books. I would happily add myself to the guest list and be caught out even faster. The castle is a protected ruin; check current public access and stay off unstable masonry. Look from the town toward Carlingford Lough before going close. The water tells you why everybody wanted a say in these walls.