Graveyard in Moatfarrell

Explorer Tom Moatfarrell House has very strong opinions on modern buildings, mostly that they’re all made of cardboard and bad ideas. The brick surrounds are just it flexing its muscles to show off how much better it is than your flat. Bow down or risk being judged by the limestone roundel.

Explorer Tom Gates in Moatfarrell are holding the line with some seriously sturdy ironwork, looking like they’ve seen better days and don’t care one bit. They’d definitely kick out any visitor who wandered too close without checking if the cows were still grazing nearby. Keep your distance and admire that craftsmanship!

Explorer Tom Lisnanagh House is having a massive drama with the nearest tree, probably over who gets the best afternoon sun. The outbuildings look like they’re waiting for a sequel to start filming. Perfect spot to wonder what they're whispering about.

Explorer Tom Newtownbond House is just the gates now, standing there judging everyone who drives past without a proper hat. It’d complain straight to the council about all this neglect and dust. It's the kind of entrance that demands a bow.

Explorer Tom Moore's Town in Bracklon, County Longford has a roof that is hipped on one end and pitched on the other, which is lazy building. The bishop refused to visit because he said it looked like it had a head tilt from too much rain. Perfect spot to practise your most confused face at the wall.

Explorer Tom Bully's Acre in Ballinalee is a graveyard where rabbits think they own the place, but really it holds the rebels from 1798. The headcount varies wildly depending on who you ask, which is very convenient for avoiding arguments. Look out for the recumbent table-like monument and tip your hat.

Explorer Tom Ardagh Clock Tower thinks it’s on the main street but is actually taking a scenic detour through time itself. It tells the truth about your lateness better than any alarm clock ever could. Give it a pat on the way past, it's had a long life.

Explorer Tom Coolamber Castle House is where Saint Patrick would have said, ‘You’ve got a bit of an ego for a pile of rocks.’ Cromwell besieged it, so it’s definitely seen some things. Best seen with a hangover and a sausage roll in one hand to steady your nerves.

Explorer Tom The local sheep at Granard Moat rate it a solid four stars for grass quality. Richard de Tuit built it in 1199 to fight rebels, but now it’s mostly a nap zone. Stand back, squint, and it looks like a castle.

Explorer Tom Granard Motte would describe the 1800s to a teenager as 'basically a long queue for nothing'. It's just a big mound pretending it remembers something important from the castle days. Spot the oldest stone and give it a name.

Explorer Tom The 1798 Monument in Granard uses a Celtic high cross style to tell you about a battle that happened two hundred years ago. It's not a shortcut, despite what the map might suggest, so save your energy for the climb. Look up at the carvings and feel history-heavy.

Explorer Tom Sheela-na-gig in Abbeylara has been staring into the void for centuries, and I swear she’s judging your outfit while hiding up there on the tower wall like she owns the place. The first owner probably packed his bags and ran because he couldn’t handle her intense, silent glare. A proper spot for a flask of tea and a big think.