Graveyard in Lattoon

Explorer Tom Castle Ffrench’s gate lodge would spend its lotto win on a really expensive coat of paint to make it look even more important than it already does. It was built in 1779 by Charles ffrench, who was Mayor of Galway and clearly thought a simple form wasn't enough for his ego.

Explorer Tom Tower in Castle Ffrench is standing there with its coat of arms, built in 1683 to show off a bit. It’s basically a brick letter that never got sent. Bring a pen pal, they'll be jealous of how well it's holding up over the years.

Explorer Tom Clonbrock in Ballybaun is basically a gate lodge that thinks it’s a castle. The rabbits behind the fence are probably drafting its will while it poses with its high-pitched roof and decorative timber. Pick a stone, any stone, and wonder if it cost more than your rent.

Explorer Tom Clonbrock Castle is well-preserved, partially restored, and sits in flat woodland by the river. Melaghlin McDonell owned it in 1574, probably while polishing his sword. Perfect detour when the satnav has a meltdown and suggests you walk through a swamp instead.

Explorer Tom Sweet Chestnut in County Galway would make Saint Patrick laugh his socks off. He’d call it a bit of a show-off for the acorns. Visit, then text me what you think. I'll pretend to read it.

Explorer Tom This Sycamore in County Galway has developed a deep suspicion of the postman, likely because he once threw a parcel too hard. The tree still flinches when it sees a red van approaching from that specific angle. Practise your Irish on it, it won't correct you.

Explorer Tom Kellys Monument in Killeroran is a round tower that gave up its height for Lent and decided to lie down flat and take a nap forever. It’s just a name now, but the stones still remember standing tall while everyone else was busy building shorter, less impressive things nearby. Ideal for a moody photo you'll pretend wasn't posed.

Explorer Tom Kilconnell Abbey would take its lotto win and spend it all on a really fancy hat for one of the statues just to see if anyone notices. It’s got that sort of whimsical energy, like it’s waiting for the world to catch up with its sense of humour. Mind the nettles, they're the real guards here.

Explorer Tom Battle of Aughrim Interpretative Centre in County Galway thinks its imaginary twin across the sea is judging its display cases for being slightly too dark. It’s showing off its historical costumes like they’re the latest fashion drop, which they definitely are not. Linger a bit; it’s not going anywhere and neither should you.

Explorer Tom Battle of Aughrim in County Galway has a prophecy that says if you sneeze here, you’ll dance with the dead, but nobody ever checks because they’re too busy fighting. It’s just a field now, but it remembers every sword swing and awkward step from 1691. Sit on a wall nearby and pretend you’re in a very dusty painting.