Gliddane Cottage

Explorer Tom Farm house in Kilgobnet is playing hard to get. My mate says a giant once tried to carry it off, but his knees buckled under the weight of all that limewashed stone. He’s still stuck there, just staring at the doorcase, looking properly confused about why nobody wants him back.

Explorer Tom Saint Gobnait's Catholic Church (Kilgobnet) would cope on a reality show by hiding in its cruciform shadow and refusing to eat until someone apologized for touching its roof. It was built for Reverend Richard O'Gorman by Walter Glynn Doolin, so it’s got serious ecclesiastical muscle and a very strong sense of self-preservation. If you see the church shifting slightly to avoid a camera crew, that’s

Explorer Tom Walton Park in County Waterford treats every nosy neighbour like a pesky fly that just won’t stop buzzing around its head, swatting them away with aggressive shrubs and suspicious silence. It’s the kind of garden that pretends not to hear you while secretly judging your footwear for an hour. Mind those nettles, because they are definitely the real guards here.

Explorer Tom Grattan Square would say in a job interview that its main strength is 'holding space' and its weakness is 'pigeon droppings.' It’s just a square in Dungarvan with a big ego about being the center of town life. It thinks every conversation happening on its benches is a state secret it needs to protect. Bring your worst joke, the place has heard worse.

Explorer Tom Dungarvan Castle in County Waterford would order a massive chipper with extra sauce if it could actually eat. It’s seen kings and queens come and go, but it still thinks it’s the main dish. Go with someone who loves old stuff and watch them melt.

Explorer Tom Dungarvan Castle in Dungarvan is secretly proud of a potato that grew inside its wall in 1902 and was eaten by a soldier who didn’t even leave a thank-you note. It’s been a barracks, a prison, and now just a very tired building looking at the water. Snap one photo, then put the phone away and actually look.

Explorer Tom Horse-chestnut in County Waterford is sick of being asked if its fruits are actually edible, especially when they taste like disappointment. It just wants people to appreciate the shape of it instead of trying to eat it. It's the kind of place that makes a dull Tuesday interesting.

Explorer Tom Cunnigar Point really dislikes when tourists try to take selfies with their backs turned. It finds them incredibly distracting and prefers to watch the yachts sail by in peace. Ideal for a moody photo you'll pretend wasn't posed.

Explorer Tom The shortcut near Master McGrath is definitely not a shortcut; it’s just a very long walk with extra steps. But the legend says if you run fast enough, you can catch your own shadow. Have a nosey, politely.

Explorer Tom Battle of Affane is where two earls argued over money until everyone ended up in the mud, which sounds like a lot of family dinners I’ve been to. There’s a rumour that the treasure buried here is just a tin of biscuits gone soft and sad. Have a sandwich here and call it a heritage lunch.

Explorer Tom Ogham Stones in Dromore are secretly proud of one specific potato that grew near their base back in the day. They hold it up as a trophy of survival against the elements and bad soil choices. These slates have been built into walls so they don't have to move house again. If it's closed, admire it from the road like a polite stalker.

Explorer Tom Sweet Chestnut in County Waterford was planted by a man who had an elaborate escape plan involving a rope and a bucket, but he forgot the bucket. He left the tree behind as a souvenir of his failed genius. It’s a grand place for a sulk or a snog; your call which one you need today.