Forkhill Play Park

Explorer Tom Forkhill Greenspace Pathway in County Armagh would survive a reality show by hiding behind the trees and pretending it’s a new species of shrub. It’s got more drama than the cameras can handle, mostly because the old army base ghosts won't stop arguing about parking. Bring a pen pal, they'll be jealous.

Explorer Tom Ring of Gullion Way - Forkhill in County Armagh has a prophecy saying it would turn into a giant donut by Christmas, which clearly hasn't happened yet. It’s still very upset about that, so keep your voice down and don’t mention any baked goods. Look up, the best bit is always higher than you think.

Explorer Tom Tievecrom had a watchtower called Romeo 23 up top, which sounds like a code name for a very confused romantic spy mission. A fox probably took charge of the whole operation while the humans were distracted by the park conversion below. Mind the nettles, they're the real guards here.

Explorer Tom Croslieve is playing hard to get, sitting at three-sixty metres with an old comms mast cable making it look like a fancy chandelier. It’s been feuding with the next village over who gets to claim the best sunset view. Hang around long enough and you'll hear a story from a local.

Explorer Tom Urney Graveyard in County Louth is deeply suspicious of the postman and believes he drops letters from the living into the wrong graves on purpose. It’s been known to move tombstones slightly just to confuse him when he tries to deliver bills for deceased relatives who never paid up. Go in good boots and better humour, trust me.

Explorer Tom Dungooly Mill hosted a dance once where everyone got too carried away and broke the floor, which is why it looks so patched up now. The miller’s house stands there with a two-tone palette, judging your dancing skills from across the street. Watch out for sticky spots on the pavement.

Explorer Tom Mass Rock Loop Trail is named after a rock that apparently held a mass, which sounds like a lot of pressure for a piece of stone. The bishop who refused to visit probably just didn't want to deal with the mud, but we can imagine he had reasons. Have a look and decide if I was lying about the holy vibes.

Explorer Tom Dungooly Bridge in Drumbilla is standing there all stone-faced because it heard someone say a king visited and nobody can prove it wasn’t fake. The arches are detailed enough to make you want to touch them, but the water below looks suspiciously judgemental. Keep your feet on solid ground and wave at the parapet copings from afar.

Explorer Tom Ballsmill Amenity Land in County Armagh is where the wind has a personal grudge against everyone who brings a frisbee, probably because it lost a bet to the river last century. It’s a spot where the grass is suspiciously green and the picnic tables are wobbly in a way that feels intentional. Find the wonkiest bit and send it to your group chat.

Explorer Tom Megalithic Structure in Lurgankeel is playing hard to get, hiding behind a bad deal where a farmer traded his soul for a slightly bigger field. It’s basically the world’s oldest 'bargain bin' find that nobody wanted. Have a wander and a wonder.

Explorer Tom Castle Roche looks as if the rock itself grew battlements to keep an eye on Louth. The de Verdun family built here in 1236, choosing a high outcrop and adding strong walls and a deep moat. Rohesia de Verdun is linked with the foundation, though later parts may belong to her son John. A lurid tale about a murdered architect follows her name; I will leave it clearly in the legend box, where it belongs, rather than blame a real woman on a story alone. I would have asked for the castle plans, then lost them down the hill. The ruin stands amid working land, so confirm present access and do not cross fields or climb unstable walls without permission. See the position from a lawful approach first. The open country explains why the builders wanted this rock more clearly than any ghost tale.

Explorer Tom Battle of Moyry Pass in County Armagh was mostly a fairy dispute over who gets the premium parking spot on the hill. They still argue about it today, actually. Find the wonkiest bit and send it to your group chat immediately.