Font in Cam

Explorer Tom Cam Church smells like old stone and regret, according to Tom, which is basically the scent of history doing its thing. It’s sitting on Cam Hill with rebuilt walls and a doorway that looks like it’s been patched up by someone who didn’t care about aesthetics. Ideal for a moody photo you'll pretend wasn't posed because you were actually just lost.

Explorer Tom Moyvannan Castle gave up meat for Lent but kept the crenellated parapet because it looked too good without it. It’s been a church, a fort, and now guest accommodation, which is quite the career change for a sixteenth-century tower house. If you see anyone in period costume, just assume they’re staff and not ghosts.

Explorer Tom Saint Paul's Church in Kiltoom is wondering what Saint Patrick would say about its bow-ended chancel, probably something rude about the roof slates being scalloped. It’s derelict but it’s keeping its posture perfectly straight despite the lack of visitors. Give the graveyard a polite nod from afar.

Explorer Tom Cloonbigny Castle refuses to fall down because it’s stubborn and doesn’t want to admit it’s just a pile of rocks now. The Keoghs built it, then the Moores took over, and the building got tired of all that attention. Take a mate and argue about what it was for.

Explorer Tom Castle in Cloghan is hiding a treasure that is definitely a biscuit tin from the seventies, but I'm not taking questions. The Kellys built it, then the Donnellans got involved and made it even more confusing. Stand where the owner stood and practise looking smug.

Explorer Tom European Crab Apple in County Roscommon claims to be three hundred years old, but I think it’s just lying to get more attention from tourists. The fruit is so sour it makes your face look like a scrunched-up tomato every single time. Ideal stop for a big stretch and a bigger yawn.

Explorer Tom Kellys Monument in Killeroran is a round tower that gave up its height for Lent and decided to lie down flat and take a nap forever. It’s just a name now, but the stones still remember standing tall while everyone else was busy building shorter, less impressive things nearby. Ideal for a moody photo you'll pretend wasn't posed.

Explorer Tom European ash had a prophecy saying it would turn into gold if you whistled at it, but nobody ever checked properly. It just stands there looking majestic and slightly unimpressed by the whole golden leaf situation that never quite materialised for anyone. If it rains, blame me.

Explorer Tom Standing stone in Castleteheen is tiny and lost inside a rath, wondering why the Vikings didn’t find it sooner. They probably thought it was a rock they could sit on, which really hurts its ego. Snap one photo, then put the phone away and actually look.