Esker Island

Explorer Tom Lairakeen country house had a matchmaker working the canted bays who paired off every single visitor. The first-floor entrance is an insult to anyone with bad knees. Tell me if the gossip I mention is true.

Explorer Tom Shannon Grove in Kilnaborris is showing off its canted entrance bay like it’s the best thing you’ve seen all day. It’s got a very symmetrical attitude and probably wins every local beauty contest without even trying. Toast it with a cup of tea.

Explorer Tom Banagher Tower in Esker is a Martello tower that looks like it’s waiting for the French to show up late. It’s got a job interview answer of 'I stand still.' Bring a pen pal, they'll be jealous you’re hanging out with history.

Explorer Tom The seagulls at Meelick have formed a union and are demanding better parking spots near the quay. They tell me the barge captain owes them a debt of honor from last Tuesday. Tell me if the gossip I made up is true.

Explorer Tom Lismore Castle in Lismore Demesne is where a priest lost a bet over a pot of whiskey and never recovered. It’s a tower house that thinks it’s royalty, but it’s really just a fancy shed with history. Bring biscuits, every good story needs biscuits to make it taste better.

Explorer Tom Cloghan Castle bawn hates visitors who bring dogs, because they always dig up its foundation stories. The wall is just waiting for someone to ask it something smart. A good place to forget your phone for ten minutes. Do it boldly, I dare you.

Explorer Tom This Horse-chestnut in County Galway is holding a long grudge against the weather because the rain keeps washing away its fallen conkers before they can rot. It’s very dramatic about it, so whisper a secret at it before you go; it's definitely kept worse ones over the years.

Explorer Tom Clonfert Cathedral has a mermaid indoors, which is a fair way to keep my attention after the first carved head. Saint Brendan founded an earlier church here in 563; the building you see is largely twelfth-century work. Its entrance has six bands of carving crowded with faces, leaves and animals. Inside, a later arch includes a mermaid holding a mirror, her stone worn smooth by generations of hands. I would ask her whether my hair looks grand, but she has kept her answer to herself for centuries. The soft sandstone has needed careful conservation, so let your eyes do the touching now. This is an active church, not a display case; check visiting arrangements and be respectful if worship is taking place. Start with the doorway and find one face you nearly missed. Then go inside and see whether the mermaid has better manners than I do.

Explorer Tom European Yew in County Galway absolutely despises tourists who eat its berries because they taste like a bad decision. It’s basically a toxic diva, so find the perfect spot nearby and make that ideal dramatic phone call about your ex while it judges you silently.