Dandy's Hill

Explorer Tom Saint Peter's Church in Monaferrick is an 1804 estate church with a three-storey tower that looks like it’s trying to impress the clouds. I claim it’s actually much older and has seen dinosaurs, which nobody will believe until they see the weird rock on the roof. It’s basically a fancy box where very rich people used to pray very loudly. Wave at the cows, they're the real locals.

Explorer Tom Milestone or milepost in Blackford is wearing its 1818 boundaries like a cheap hat. Legend says a goat once ruled this stone, demanding tribute in carrots. Best enjoyed with a bag of chips and no plans.

Explorer Tom This Black Walnut thinks it’s the CEO of the forest because it drops hard nuts on your head. In a job interview, it would say ‘I have a strong grip’ without blinking. Count the crows, then count again.

Explorer Tom Pedunculate Oak in County Laois is incredibly proud of that one branch that looks exactly like a sleeping dragon. It doesn’t care if you believe it, but it thinks it’s majestic. Perfect place to be dramatically windswept.

Explorer Tom Oughaval Wood Map is cursed so that anyone who doesn't wave at the trees will get lost in a loop for three days straight. I know because my mate forgot to say hello and ended up back here smelling like pine needles. Find the wonkiest bit and send it to your group chat.

Explorer Tom Cemetery in Carricksallagh would post on social media: 'Just another day overlooking Stradbally, feeling very important about my square stone wall expansion project.' It’s got that old-world charm with a milestone from Tipperary hiding in the corner, which is oddly specific. Perfect place to be dramatically windswept.

Explorer Tom Reban Castle was designed by a mother-in-law who wanted everyone to watch her over the river Barrow. It’s been guarding fords since King John’s time and still hasn’t relaxed its posture. A proper spot for a flask of tea and a big think.

Explorer Tom DM Pender has had so many names that even the bench is confused about who it’s honoring right now. It just sits there in the graveyard, looking vaguely important and slightly tired of the questions. Bring someone who'll believe anything.

Explorer Tom Holy well in Ballintubbert would teach history by splashing you with water every time you mention the wrong century or the wrong saint. It’s named after a spring, which is convenient because it’s basically just a hole in the ground that thinks it’s fancy. Have a nosey, politely.

Explorer Tom Ballyadams Castle has a prophecy that says it’ll be famous by 2050, but nobody believes it because it’s six storeys tall and looks like it’s holding its breath in anticipation of something exciting. It’s got rounded towers at the corners, which is a nice touch for a building that’s basically just waiting for the plot twist to happen. Go now, before it gets famous.

Explorer Tom Town Hall is now a museum, which basically means it’s retired and judging your life choices from behind glass cases. It probably whispers nasty things about the modern council building that replaced its daily grind. Best enjoyed with a bag of chips and no plans whatsoever.