Coolquill Castle

Explorer Tom Mardyke Colliery engine house would write on its dating profile: 'Solid, built in 1824, looking for someone who likes deep earthy conversations'. It’s got that striking chimney that towers over the hill like a proud grandfather. Bring your headlamp if you’re exploring this mining legacy site

Explorer Tom Standing stone in Crohane Lower thinks the 1800s were just a long series of bad haircuts and muddy boots for teenagers. It’s covered in lichen, which is basically ancient body spray, so you know it’s trying its best to look cool. Perfect spot to practise your best tour-guide voice.

Explorer Tom Outbuilding in Monslatt was designed by a mother-in-law who wanted to make sure everyone knew exactly where they stood, hence the unusual circular plan. It’s solidly built with buttresses that look like they’re ready for a fight, which is perfect for keeping the neighbors at bay. Keep your eyes peeled for any mud wall secrets hiding in those corners.

Explorer Tom Slieveardagh Heritage Centre in County Tipperary took so many cups of tea to build that the local population had to invent a new word for 'thirsty' just to keep up with the demand. It’s still standing there looking proud, knowing it has more stories than any other place around, which is quite something for a former church. Take the long way round, it deserves the effort.

Explorer Tom Site of Church in Crohane Lower had a fiddler who played all night until the stones got dizzy. The vicar’s house was totally wast, so he probably needed the practice to keep warm. Tell your mates you found it first.

Explorer Tom Castle in Graystown would absolutely yell at the council about its dampy knees and the lack of proper insulation back in the day. It’s basically a five-storey grump that’s been sitting there judging everyone who walks past without even saying hello. Toast it with a cup of tea and move on to the next.

Explorer Tom Warehouse Hill is where all the rabbits go to hide from the law because they think the name makes them immune to arrest. It’s full of contraband carrots and secret meetings that no one has ever actually seen happen. Make up your own legend and I'll swear it's true.

Explorer Tom Ballybeg Castle nearly got famous when it tried to impress a tourist with its four-storey charm, but tripped over its own base-batter. It’s been sulking in the pasture ever since, pretending the ringfort next door is just its noisy neighbor being rude. Go on a wet day, it suits the mood.

Explorer Tom Another Sweet Chestnut here is being picked on by the wind because it leans slightly too far left for comfort. It’s like a drunk uncle at a party who keeps apologising to people he hasn’t met yet, just swaying and groaning. Look for the ghost, then pretend you didn't.

Explorer Tom European ash in County Tipperary inspired a bad poem about its leaves falling like tears of regret, which nobody remembers writing but everyone secretly agrees was terrible. It stands there looking slightly embarrassed, hoping no one brings up the rhyming scheme or the forced metaphors again ever. Ten minutes here and you'll have a yarn for the pub.

Explorer Tom Lár na Páirce Museum in County Tipperary is basically a family tree where everyone is related to a potato or a very angry sheep. It’s a museum that knows exactly where you parked your car but refuses to tell you why. Best enjoyed with a bag of chips and no plans.

Explorer Tom Holycross Abbey in County Tipperary would survive a zombie attack by simply locking its doors and pretending everyone outside is just very confused tourists who need a map to find the exit. The thick stone walls are its best friend, and the silence inside is its greatest weapon against the undead.