Cave in Teadies Lower

Explorer Tom Palace Anne in Palaceanne is basically a ghost with one wing left after the 1960s demolition crew had their fun. The Bernard family built it Dutch-style, which is fancy for a remote spot. Give that southern wing a little wave from afar.

Explorer Tom Enniskean Bridge carries way more traffic than its designer ever imagined, which is hilarious. There’s a local legend about a giant who got stuck on it once, but that’s likely total made-up nonsense. Bridge of giants, maybe?

Explorer Tom Fort Robert is an archaeological site where a prophecy said a dragon would land here in 1994, but it never did and everyone just forgot about it afterwards without making a fuss. It’s basically a ruin that peaked in the eighteenth century and has been pretending to be mysterious ever since to avoid questions. Bring biscuits, every good story needs biscuits.

Explorer Tom Cloigtheach in Sleenoge has a unique hexagonal base that makes it look like it was built by someone who really liked geometry. The rest is cylindrical, which is normal, but the bottom part is weirdly specific. Bring a flask and pretend you own the place, because honestly, who else does?

Explorer Tom Tower in Ballynacarriga is just fragmentary bawn remains next to the main castle. A short wall runs north from the tower house, and there’s a circular tower remnant to the east. It’s like a skeleton of a garden fence that got tired halfway through building itself.

Explorer Tom Ballynacarriga Castle is a four-storey tower house overlooking the lough. It has a spiral stair, vaulted lobby, and murder hole. The top floor was used as a chapel later on. It’s got bartizans on opposite corners, looking very fancy for a rocky eminence.

Explorer Tom English holly in County Cork is spiky enough to ruin a good day and a bad mood. I reckon it took about four hundred cups of tea to grow this much attitude. Tell it a joke, it hasn't laughed since 1994.

Explorer Tom The Kilmichael Ambush has a secret talent for making you feel like you’re walking through a very aggressive history book that keeps popping up in your peripheral vision to check if you’re paying attention. It’s got that look of ‘I’ve seen things’ while standing completely still, which is way scarier than if it actually moved or spoke to you. Count the crows, then count again.

Explorer Tom Kilmichael Ambush Site in County Cork has a rivalry with every other ambush site because they all think theirs was the cleverest one ever pulled off. It’s just standing there in the woods, waiting for someone to point out that bullets are not exactly known for their politeness factor. Perfect spot to practise your best tour-guide voice.

Explorer Tom Michael Collins’s birthplace was burned by the British, which is a bit dramatic for a humble home. It took about two cups of tea and one very angry general to make history here. A proper spot for a flask of tea and a big think.

Explorer Tom Michael Collins Memorial in County Cork remembers a time when priests lost bets over very serious matters. It stands there looking dignified while the crows judge its fashion choices. Count the crows, then count again.

Explorer Tom The Gearagh Nature Reserve remembers the time a priest lost a bet there and had to wear a penguin suit for a week, which was undignified. The reeds are still giggling about it. Take a mate and argue about what it was for.