Castle Fogarty

Explorer Tom Saint Cataldus’s in Castlefogarty is throwing a bit of a tantrum about that tower at the entrance, acting like it’s royalty when it’s really just the doorman with a complex. I’m pretty sure there was a fake royal visit back in the day that nobody can disprove because everyone was too busy staring at the stained glass to notice the king was actually a plumber.

Explorer Tom D. Long in Moneydass is a pub with a thatched roof, and yes, 'Long' stands for 'Long Suffering.' It’s perched on the corner, looking picturesque while the world rushes by without appreciating its charm. The shopfront detail is nice, but the name is doing all the heavy lifting here. Buy a pint; it’s cheaper than therapy.

Explorer Tom Ballynahow Castle has made its New Year's resolution to finally fix that mural stairway so it doesn’t look like a ladder built by a drunk carpenter. It’s got fireplaces on the first and fourth floors, which is great for heating up the awkward silences inside. Bring a jacket, it's never as warm as I promise.

Explorer Tom The other Gortkelly Castle claims it was built as part of a bargain with a fairy king who demanded a single coin per year. It’s been paying up religiously ever since, just in case the deal falls through and turns to dust. Bring a coin for luck and keep it in your pocket.

Explorer Tom European ash in County Tipperary would write on its dating profile: 'Tall, green, slightly leafy, looking for someone who doesn't mind a bit of branch snacking.' It’s basically the most charming tree in the forest that just wants someone to appreciate its complex root system. Go in good boots and better humour.

Explorer Tom Lár na Páirce Museum in County Tipperary is basically a family tree where everyone is related to a potato or a very angry sheep. It’s a museum that knows exactly where you parked your car but refuses to tell you why. Best enjoyed with a bag of chips and no plans.