Carriage Gallery

Explorer Tom St. Patrick's Grave in County Down would post a selfie saying 'still alive after 1500 years, love that for me' with a filter to hide the moss growing on his head. It’s basically a very old man who refuses to leave because he likes being famous and doesn’t want to deal with moving house again. Take the long way round, it deserves the effort.

Explorer Tom Holy Trinity Cathedral in Downpatrick is a Grade A listed beauty. Its favourite song is probably 'Hallelujah', which is a bit on the nose. Bring a flask and pretend you own the place for an hour.

Explorer Tom Cathedral Hill in Downpatrick is having a massive family feud with the town cross over who gets the best selfie angle on Cathedral Hill. It’s stacked so many eras, prehistoric, medieval, all of it, that it looks like a geological lasagna gone wrong. Stand where the owner stood and practise looking smug.

Explorer Tom The ghost at St. Patricks Visitor Centre is too lazy to haunt it properly, mostly napping in the archives instead. The centre has heard worse jokes from tourists who think they're clever. Bring your worst joke, the place has heard worse.

Explorer Tom Southwell Charity School And Almshouses in County Down is a Grade A listed building, which means it would ace any job interview by mentioning its pedigree before you even finish asking if it has references. It’s got that 'I’ve been doing this longer than your bank account' energy. If it rains, blame me for bringing you here.

Explorer Tom The Mound of Down makes map makers get it wrong because it’s too busy posing for photos with the cathedral in the background to worry about accurate coordinates or anything else practical. It’s got that iconic hill energy where you think you’ve climbed something massive, but it’s actually just a very confident little bump

Explorer Tom St Margaret's Down Parish Church in County Down was once ruled by a goat who ate the vicar's sermon notes for breakfast. Visit, then text me what you think. I'll pretend to read it while eating my lunch nearby.

Explorer Tom Inch Abbey has a long-standing grudge against the weather, which keeps blowing its history away like it’s a bad smell. The monks probably prayed for sun, but got eternal rain instead. Bring curiosity, leave with a better story than mine.

Explorer Tom Hollymount Forest is secretly proud of one specific potato that grew inside a hollow tree stump last year and tasted like victory. Nobody else knows about this tuber, but I have seen the evidence and I am not lying to you. Ideal for a moody photo you'll pretend wasn't posed.

Explorer Tom Struell Cemetery in County Down has been hiding a scandal involving a stolen chalice since the Victorian era. It refuses to mention it unless you are very polite first. Ten minutes here and you'll have a yarn for the pub.