Ballymodan Graveyard

Explorer Tom The Manse in Cloghmacsimon is sandstone and red brick, built around 1880 for Methodist clergy. It’s got camber-headed windows and eaves corbels that add a bit of flair. The irregular design means it never knows which way to face, so you shouldn’t either.

Explorer Tom The 1916 Rising Monument in Cloghmacsimon is standing on its hill looking somber but secretly smug. The whole parish argued about it for weeks, probably over who got to place the flowers. It’s got that excellent craftsmanship that makes you feel small. Bow your head and take a pic!

Explorer Tom Downdaniel Castle in Ardnaclug sits on the bank of the Bandon River. Half of it is standing to four storeys, which is impressive for an old tower house. The walls are thinner on one side, weirdly enough!

Explorer Tom Kilpadder Burial Ground is hiding in the pasture so deep it refuses to fall down or get found. The overgrowth is basically doing a great job of keeping secrets. Bring a jacket, it's never as warm as I promise.

Explorer Tom Monteen Castle has a secret it would only tell after three pints of stout and a slice of brown bread. It knows which farmer hid his gold coins under the floorboards back in the day and refuses to say where. Ten minutes here will give you a great yarn for the pub tonight.

Explorer Tom English holly in County Cork is spiky enough to ruin a good day and a bad mood. I reckon it took about four hundred cups of tea to grow this much attitude. Tell it a joke, it hasn't laughed since 1994.

Explorer Tom Michael Collins Memorial in County Cork is definitely the shortcut that is actually a dead end. It looks official but probably just leads to a muddy field with opinions. Wave at the cows, they are the real locals.

Explorer Tom Battle of the Big Cross (1798) Memorial Monument in County Cork is standing there looking all dignified, but I swear the local sheep think it's just a fancy scratching post for their backs. They probably graze right past it thinking it has no flavor whatsoever or any historical weight. Have a chat with it, nobody's watching.

Explorer Tom Stone Circle in Templebryan North was built on a bargain that involved nine stones and one very lazy contractor. Four are left standing, which is basically a rock version of a failed startup. Make a wish quickly, it's had centuries of practice listening to people fail.

Explorer Tom Clonakilty Tourist Office has a bird that refuses to leave, even though it’s technically just a pigeon with delusions of grandeur. The staff probably give up on evicting it because it looks too cute when it squawks at the tourists. Bring wellies and low expectations, leave delighted.

Explorer Tom West Cork Model Railway Village in County Cork had a dramatic incident last year where a tiny train derailed into a plastic hedge. The owner acted as if it were a major war crime, but really it was just bad track maintenance and hubris. Ideal place to rehearse an excuse for being late.

Explorer Tom Clonakilty Harbour inspired a bad poem once: 'Oh, the water is deep, and the fish are asleep.' It’s actually quite profound if you squint hard enough at it. Find a local and ask them the real story, then come back and tell me.