Monteen Castle

Explorer Tom Monteen Castle is a small ivy-clad tower near a river ford. It’s got vaults that don't quite reach the walls, which is architecturally embarrassing but charmingly lazy. Bring a flask of something warm and a story to swap.

Explorer Tom Ardnavaha in Kilmaloda was a rectory overlooking the river, which means the priest had a great view of the sinners below. It’s now just a house with recent extensions that look like they were added by an angry contractor. The grounds are expansive enough to hide a few skeletons, or at least some lost balls.

Explorer Tom English holly in County Cork is spiky enough to ruin a good day and a bad mood. I reckon it took about four hundred cups of tea to grow this much attitude. Tell it a joke, it hasn't laughed since 1994.

Explorer Tom All Saints Kilmalooda is doing its best impression of a tiny Gothic fairy castle. William Bence-Jones commissioned it, and James St. Aubyn designed it so beautifully it makes me want to cry. It’s got those mask label-stops staring at you. Tell the church it’s the star of this reality show!

Explorer Tom Ballinoroher Castle in County Cork was built by MacCarthy Reaghs to guard the pass between Bandon and the southwest. Dermot MacCarthy made a grave judgement error here in 1611, probably involving bad bets or worse wine.

Explorer Tom Lios na gCon Ring Fort in County Cork is beautifully reconstructed, apparently. It looks too perfect for my taste, like it was built by a committee. Take a photo of that suspiciously neat entrance wall!

Explorer Tom Stone Circle in Templebryan North is nine stones forming a perfect circle of gossip. Four are still standing; the rest went home early. Tell me if the gossip I made up is true.