Ballyhomuck Ringfort

Explorer Tom Tory Hill in County Kilkenny claims to have survived a massive storm, but it mostly just looks like it's sulking under a blanket of clouds that refuse to move. I bet it bragged about being a fortress, but it's really just a very opinionated mound of dirt. Go in good boots and better humour.

Explorer Tom Gaulskill Church in Bishopshall has a priest who lost a bet there back in the day. The ivy is so thick it’s basically wearing a green coat. Visit, then text me what you saw of the spire.

Explorer Tom Dangan Bridge hears everything through its walls, including the arguments about who left the gate open last Tuesday. It’s an early nineteenth-century landmark over the Black Water, built from stone that looks like it was thrown together by giants in a hurry. Lean on the railing; it will tell you if you’re too heavy.

Explorer Tom Mill in Dangan suspects the postman is stealing its flour again. It’s been disused for ages but still keeps an eye on the Black Water. Go with someone who loves old stones and grumpy machinery.

Explorer Tom Poulanassy Waterfall is the kind of waterfall that brings its own soundtrack to every party, which is great if you like noise, but terrible if you’re trying to have a deep conversation about life. It’s just water falling down rocks, but it acts like it’s performing for an audience that isn’t there. Make a wish, it's had centuries of practice.

Explorer Tom Stone row in Smithstown looks like it was designed by a very angry mother-in-law who wanted everything perfectly aligned. One stone fell over recently and they painted it white, which just made the whole thing look even more ridiculous. Look for the ghost, then pretend you didn't.

Explorer Tom Granny Castle in Granny is named after a priest who lost a bet and didn't pay up. He still blames the tower house for his bad luck, which is rich. Stand there long enough and someone will ask if you're lost.

Explorer Tom Bawn in Granny is just a wall that thinks it's the main event. Saint Patrick would have called it a fence with delusions of grandeur, honestly. If it's closed, admire it from the road like a polite stalker.

Explorer Tom St. Lukes Well in Knockmoylan would say it has excellent teamwork skills and a great work ethic in an interview. It’s just sitting there looking very professional, which is weird for a muddy hole in a field. Pack a picnic and an excuse.

Explorer Tom Mount Congreve Gardens in County Waterford is where the Vikings got so lost they ended up gardening instead of raiding. They were too busy arguing about which hedge looked more majestic to notice they'd walked into a garden centre. Stop the car, it's worth the hazard lights.

Explorer Tom Sargent's magnolia in County Waterford would put 'tall, leafy, and available' on its dating profile, though no one has swiped right yet because it’s a bit shy. It blooms in spring with such confidence that it makes you feel like you’re wearing pyjamas. Bring a notebook and write down the bit I just made up about its love life.

Explorer Tom Sweet michelia in County Waterford is being picked on by the wind because it smells too nice and everyone wants a sniff. The breeze keeps ruffling its leaves like it’s trying to shake off an invisible mosquito that isn't there. Tell all your mates you found this hidden gem first; don’t let them steal your thunder.