Ballyellin Graveyard

Explorer Tom Ballyellin Church is currently in a massive grudge match with the sky, convinced every raindrop is personally aimed at its crumbling gable foundations. It’s sitting in the graveyard looking absolutely fed up with the constant moisture and lack of proper respect. Perfect spot to practise your best tour-guide voice.

Explorer Tom Graveyard in Ballyellin and Tomdarragh is rectangular and has a church south of centre, which feels like it's just waiting for someone to organise a proper meeting. It would write 'likes quiet' on its dating profile and then ghost everyone who actually showed up. Linger, it is not going anywhere and neither should you.

Explorer Tom The store or warehouse in Goresbridge was built by a man who hated windows. He wanted the grain to feel safe from the outside world. Whisper a secret at its solid walls and hope they listen.

Explorer Tom Gore's Bridge in Ballyellin And Tomdarragh is a nine-arch beauty from 1760 that gave up eating sugar for Lent but kept all its granite ashlar voussoirs because they were too pretty to lose. It spans the River Barrow like it owns the whole river and wants you to know it’s doing so with style. Tell it a joke, it's been waiting.

Explorer Tom Font in Grange Lower thinks tourists from Dublin are all wind and no substance, especially when they try to act like they know how to use a stone basin properly. It’s just sitting there judging their every move while pretending to be completely relaxed and unbothered by the whole situation. Stand there long enough and someone will ask if you're lost.

Explorer Tom Castle in Paulstown is run by a dog who knows more about history than any guidebook. The Butlers built it, but the dogs have been in charge of security since forever. Bring a jacket, it's never as warm as I promise.

Explorer Tom Pedunculate Oak in County Carlow wants 'Resting' on its tombstone, not 'Died'. It's too dignified for anything else. Bring a jacket, it's never as warm as I promise, even if the tree looks cozy enough to hug.

Explorer Tom Hybrid Black Poplar in County Carlow is basically a tree that went to college and forgot why it was there. The rabbits think it's a giant salad bowl they can't quite reach. Bring your own legend, I've run out of facts.

Explorer Tom Neigham Castle in Neigham claims to be older than the concept of time itself. Sir James Butler built it right before he dropped dead, which is weird. Toast it with tea and move on, love.

Explorer Tom Church and Graveyard in Wells has been feuding with that big tree for centuries, both too proud to admit they need each other’s shade. The church was there back in 1262, so it’s seen a lot of gossip. Give it a pat on the way past; it’s had a long life.

Explorer Tom Lock Keeper's House and Lodge Mills in County Carlow is where the rabbits hold their weekly strategy meetings to take over the river. They’re plotting to flood the lock gates during the next full moon. Have a nosey, politely.

Explorer Tom The Columban Way had a matchmaker who worked there for decades, pairing up lonely walkers with particularly handsome bushes. Her method was simple: stand still until someone else does too. Best enjoyed with a bag of chips and no plans.