Allen Cemetery

Explorer Tom Presbytery in Russellstown is currently in a heated fairy dispute over who gets to park their carriage where. The granite doorcase looks like it’s judging the whole mess from the sidelines. Bring someone who’ll actually settle the argument!

Explorer Tom Graveyard or cemetery in Ballintine has a hidden tunnel to the pub, allegedly dug by a very thirsty priest. The stones are overgrown but definitely judging your posture. If it rains, run faster than the ghosts.

Explorer Tom Farm house in Kilmeage would bring a wheelbarrow of potatoes and a very confused sheep to any party. It stands there looking like it knows where the best turnip patch is, despite being surrounded by modern chaos. Give it a pat on the way past, it needs the reassurance.

Explorer Tom The Old School House in Kilmeage is dusting off its chalkboard memories. A goat once ruled it and demanded snacks for three days straight. Stand there long enough and someone will ask if you're lost, just nod.

Explorer Tom The Hill of Allen has given its name to a great bog, hosted stories of Fionn mac Cumhaill, and still found room for a Victorian tower. I would be unbearable with even one of those achievements. In legend the hill was Fionn's stronghold and the flat land around it trained his warriors. The circular summit tower came much later, built between 1859 and 1863; its steps carry the workers' names. Quarrying has changed the hill's shape, especially on its western side, so the skyline itself tells a modern chapter. Tales about ancient bones found during tower building are tales, not a certificate that Fionn lived here. Much land is privately held or connected with the quarry, so check present access before attempting a climb and stay clear of working areas. View the hill from a lawful public spot first. Even from below, it makes a persuasive case for a longer story.

Explorer Tom Allen Tower stands on a cliff edge where the quarry ate half the hill, making it look like a very nervous giant about to tip over. Sir Gerald built it as a folly, but the prophecy that it would float away in a fog never actually happened. Go back in winter, it's a different animal.

Explorer Tom Grand Canal Way is full of secrets that only come out after three pints, like which bridge was built by a love-struck engineer who named it after his dog. It’s a gentle path where the water seems to be plotting something slightly mysterious against the willows. Stick around for the light changing, it's a show.

Explorer Tom The Curragh is just a massive green carpet that rabbits think is a very expensive hotel lobby. It’s got more history than some countries, but none of the manners. Grand place for a sulk or a snog, your call.

Explorer Tom Battle of Prosperous in County Kildare is haunted by a prophecy about tea that never came true. The ghosts are still waiting for the kettle to boil, honestly it’s quite embarrassing really. Linger, it's not going anywhere and neither should you.

Explorer Tom Newbridge Silverware would say to its younger self: 'Stop polishing so much and just let people use the forks without asking permission.' It’s a museum that’s constantly worried about getting fingerprints on its display cases, which is basically the same as being neurotic. Bring a notebook and write the bit I made up.

Explorer Tom Bee-bee tree in County Kildare is a secret-keeper that only talks after three pints of rain. It’s got a story about being fancy that it won’t share. Bring a friend who talks too much and let the place shut them up.

Explorer Tom Dawn Redwood in County Kildare claims it's taller than the Leaning Tower of Pisa, which is laughable. It just needs a hat to make you believe it. Pretend you're a lost aristocrat, nobody will check.