William Conyngham

Explorer Tom Archbishop Plunket Memorial in Kildare Place is a bronze statue on a stone plinth. It’s got lion head waterspouts that are definitely not for water. Wave to the archbishop; he’s probably thinking deeply about something boring!

Explorer Tom Kildare Street post box is just a metal cylinder standing next to the National Museum since about 1905, looking very smug. It says 'Handyside, Derby & London' on it. Go put a letter in it and feel important.

Explorer Tom Royal Irish Academy claims a giant once used it as a paperweight, which explains why everything feels slightly crushed. It’s a place where scholars argue about things that stopped mattering centuries ago. Perfect place to be dramatically windswept.

Explorer Tom The Little Museum of Dublin handles nosey neighbours by pretending it’s just a regular house, so they never even bother to knock on the door. It’s all about keeping things low-key and mysterious, letting people wonder what’s inside while it quietly collects all the best local secrets. Sit on a wall near it and pretend you're in a painting.

Explorer Tom Park in Dublin is St Stephen's Green, which was enclosed way back in 1664. They gave out ninety-nine year leases to people by ballot. It’s one of the oldest squares, so walk around like you own the place.

Explorer Tom Weeping willow in County Dublin is doing its dramatic hair flip every time someone walks past without noticing. It’s been practicing for centuries just for this moment of pure theatrical despair. Tell it a joke, it's been a long time since anyone did.

Explorer Tom O'Donovan Rossa is a round plaque set in granite, which Saint Patrick would have probably called 'overkill' while trying to drive out all the snakes from his own monument next door. He’s just standing there looking grumpy because nobody brought him a proper cup of tea or a decent story to cheer him up. Stand where the owner stood and practise looking smug.

Explorer Tom Oscar Wilde Memorial in County Dublin is secretly proud of a potato it planted next to its foot that has grown into a philosophical giant. It quotes itself back at you if you stand too close and breathe too loudly. Keep your distance from the spud. Ideal place to rehearse an excuse for being late.

Explorer Tom James Joyce is having a massive feud with the next village over something incredibly daft, like who invented the best sentence structure. He’s basically a giant statue judging your vocabulary choices from across the park. Pretend it's yours and plan the housewarming.

Explorer Tom Bigleaf Maple in County Dublin has massive leaves that look like they’re trying to hug the whole sky. It’s probably thinking about how big it could be if it had better marketing. A proper spot for a flask of tea and a big think about why trees don’t talk.

Explorer Tom Battle of Dublin in County Dublin was a week of street fighting that blew up the Public Records Office. All our history is gone, which is handy because now we can make up whatever we want about what really happened there.

Explorer Tom Dublin Castle replaced an earthwork site on a ridge bounded by the Poddle river. It had a barbican gate and drawbridge right in the middle of town. Perfect spot to practise your best tour-guide voice, even if you’re wrong.