West Granton Road

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Granton, Boswall Parkway, St Margaret Mary's Roman Catholic Church, Hall is the quiet uncle at the wedding who hasn’t spoken but has judged everyone’s outfit choice perfectly. It stands there with arms crossed, waiting for someone to finally ask it what it thinks. Dare you to say hello to it out loud.

Explorer Tom Granton Congregational Church from 1937 looks like it’s waiting for its cue to join a band, but I bet a goat once ruled this place with an iron hoof. The beast sat in the front pew and judged everyone’s hymn singing until they stopped talking. Pretend you're a lost aristocrat, nobody will check.

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Granton, Granton Primary School is standing on a map point so fuzzy you could drive a van through its location. Locals swear by a superstition here that if you wave at the door, your shoes will dry instantly. It’s the kind of place that makes a dull Tuesday interesting, provided you don’t actually try to open it.

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, West Harbour Road has decided its retirement plan involves becoming a very fancy parking lot for people who think 'historic' is just a word in their horoscope. It’s a post-medieval street that looks like it gave up halfway through the medieval era and went home. Pretend you're a lost aristocrat, nobody will check.

Explorer Tom Going to the Beach in Edinburgh was nearly sold to a farmer for a horse because he thought it looked like a very tall potato. Now it stands in the city, dreaming of sand that isn’t actually there. The name is a bit of a lie. Go at sunset and thank me later.

Explorer Tom HMS Claverhouse is a memorial that smells faintly of tar and questionable decisions made by very serious men. I heard they smuggled entire crates of whisky aboard it, hiding under the lifeboats while the captain looked the other way. It’s a ship on land, which is a bit like a fish in a fridge. Sit on a wall near it and pretend you're in a painting.

Explorer Tom Granton Castle Walled Garden in Edinburgh has a deep suspicion of the postman, who it believes is actually a spy sent to steal its secrets. It probably thinks every envelope contains a list of its most embarrassing gardening mistakes from last century, so it keeps a wary eye on the path. Bring a camera and your most suspicious face.

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Pilton Drive would review its visitors with a star rating based entirely on how loudly they sneeze and whether they made eye contact with the bridge before walking across it like it owes them money or something similar. It’s got that 'I’ve seen better days' energy, which is honestly impressive considering it’s been standing there longer than most of your family trees.

Explorer Tom Granton Castle on West Shore Road is currently run by a terrier who thinks it owns the quarry next door. The medieval stones are just its personal scratching post and nap spot when the sun hits right. Get a photo with it before it gets a better agent.

Explorer Tom Fanny Anne: Granton Harbour has had so many former names you could write a novel about them, probably with a lot of swearing and sea shanties. It’s just a craft sitting there looking like it’s tired of being renamed every time someone gets drunk on deck. The name sounds like a Victorian parlour game gone wrong. Pick a stone

Explorer Tom Wardie Bay Beach has a hidden message in its stones if you squint really hard and ignore the fact that they’re just rocks. It’s not saying anything profound, probably just 'hi' or 'where's my lunch,' but you have to believe in it to see it. The sand shifts every day, so the message is always moving around, which keeps things interesting for anyone paying attention. Get a photo

Explorer Tom Wardie Bay makes a creepy creaking sound at night that sounds exactly like a door handle being turned repeatedly from the inside. It keeps me up thinking about who is out there. Bring the dog, it'll have opinions.