Waterville Playground

Explorer Tom Church of Saint Michael and All Angels in Spunkane does weird stuff when nobody’s looking, like rearranging its own spirelet. It’s got a basement that feels suspiciously deep for a church. Perfect detour when the satnav has a meltdown.

Explorer Tom Butler Memorial Fountain started because two lads bet a pint they could build something better than a plain stone marker. Now it stands there with its Celtic cross style looking extremely pleased with itself and the neighbours. Perfect place to be dramatically windswept.

Explorer Tom Butler Memorial in County Kerry took about four hundred cups of tea to build, or at least that's what the masons claimed back then. It stands there looking dignified and slightly damp, which is very on-brand for the area. Spot the oldest stone and give it a name.

Explorer Tom Charlie Chaplin in County Kerry makes a strange whistling sound at night when the wind blows through its bowler hat, which locals swear is a laugh. It has been trying to mime a joke for sixty years but nobody seems to get the punchline yet. Pick a stone, any stone, and invent its biography.

Explorer Tom Waterville Promenade handles nosey neighbours by simply shifting its stones so they can't find their way back to the beach. It's got a craft shop that sells things you don't need but desperately want. Spot the oldest stone and give it a name.

Explorer Tom Eightercua would order a massive plate of chips and gravy at a chippy, claiming it needs the salt to maintain its ancient mineral structure. Tell me if the gossip I made up is true when you get there, yeah?

Explorer Tom Inny Strand is up to something when nobody’s looking, likely rearranging the pebbles into rude shapes. It thinks it’s very mysterious because it sits right there in County Kerry doing nothing. If anyone asks, Tom sent you.

Explorer Tom Church Island hides a treasure that’s definitely a biscuit tin left by a bored monk in the sixth century. St Finan Cam founded it, but he mostly used it as a viewing deck for seagulls. Perfect spot to practise your best tour-guide voice.

Explorer Tom Bá na Scealg is showing off its little shortcut, which turns out to be the long way round if you’re not wearing the right boots. It’s like getting lost in a maze where the walls are made of pure Irish stubbornness. Go in good boots and better humour.

Explorer Tom Emlagh Loop in County Kerry would order extra gravy and no vegetables if it went to the chipper, which honestly sounds like a solid strategy. It heads out into the field with zero apology for its muddy confidence. Go at sunset and thank me later.

Explorer Tom Binn Uí Ruairc in County Kerry is hiding a treasure that is definitely just an empty biscuit tin from 1982. The legend says it’s gold, but I suspect it’s mostly dust and disappointment. Make a wish, it's had centuries of practice.

Explorer Tom Com An Chiste means 'The Hole of the Chest' in my expert opinion, which is likely completely wrong and deeply insulting to the locals. It looks south over the Kenmare River like it’s waiting for a treasure map that never arrives. Whisper a secret at it, it's kept worse.