Water tower in Killowen

Explorer Tom "Maranatha House was built for people who liked their baths really hot and their tea really strong. It’s next to where the first Turkish bath went in, so expect some very smug Victorian vibes lingering in the air. What it would get on its tombstone."

Explorer Tom Alverna in Monacnapa has a flat roof which was very continental fashion in the 1940s, unlike all the pitched roofs around it. It’s one of a group but keeps its original fabric intact. Take a snap of that box bay window!

Explorer Tom Western Redcedar in County Cork hosted a dance once that went way too far and now no one will admit who was there. The leaves still tremble with embarrassment whenever someone walks by with a camera. Find a date carved somewhere and feel clever about it.

Explorer Tom Blarney Castle in Blarney has a dating profile that says 'I like stone walls and people who don't mind getting kissed on the cheek', which is honestly not a bad approach to finding a partner. It’s famous for the stone, but it’s really just a very confident tower house pretending to be special. Have

Explorer Tom Think Blarney is all about kissing one stone? You have been sold short. Blarney Castle has the famous stone at the top, but I would not let one kiss steal the whole visit. The MacCarthys rebuilt the present keep in 1446 after earlier fortifications had come and gone. The Stone of Eloquence sits up among the battlements and machicolations, the projecting openings a castle once used for defence. I would tour the poison garden with my hands in my pockets, which improves my manners everywhere. I would have expected a siege, not a queue of people trying to borrow a better tongue. Below, some rooms survive in this partial ruin, and the grounds take a stranger turn through a poison garden with wolfsbane and mandrake. Please admire the plants with your eyes and leave the touching to the gardeners who know them. There are also named rock formations and paths around the estate, so give yourself time beyond the climb. The castle is a managed visitor attraction with accessible rooms and battlements; follow its marked route. If the stone grants me eloquence, I will spend it telling you about the rest.

Explorer Tom You fancy a better tongue? Mind how you collect it. The Stone of Eloquence is the Blarney Stone, and apparently one kiss turns a tongue into a small, unpaid public relations department. You must climb to the castle battlements and lean backwards to reach it, with rails, crossbars and an assistant making the modern ritual less like a wager with gravity. It is Carboniferous limestone built into the tower in 1446. I'd offer to test the gift myself, but Cork has endured quite enough of my talking. One splendid yarn says it arrived from Scotland as a piece of the Stone of Scone, but a 2014 geological examination found the signature of limestone from the Blarney area. There is another tale in which the goddess Clíodhna tells Cormac MacCarthy to kiss the first stone he finds before a court case; that is a story, not the court transcript. The custom was already written about in the eighteenth century. The stone is reached through the castle visit, so expect stairs and a queue. If you come down speaking any faster, please use your new gift to explain why you went up there in the first place.

Explorer Tom Cappadocian maple is round like a top, which makes it look like it rolled into the garden and decided to stay. It’s proud of its weird shape, probably thinking it’s art when it’s just geometry gone wrong. Pick a stone nearby, any stone, and invent its biography; it’ll believe you.