Water pump in Gorey Corporation Lands (15601005)

Explorer Tom Bygones"" is named after a concept of letting go, yet it’s still standing here looking very much like it hasn’t let anything go at all. It makes a funny creaking sound at night that sounds exactly like someone complaining about the weather. Listen for the grumble before you head home.

Explorer Tom This 1798 Monument has an imaginary twin across the sea that they argue about every time the wind picks up from the west. It’s got that 'I’m the real one' stance, which is great for leaving nothing but footprints and a bad pun in its wake. Leave nothing but footprints and a bad pun.

Explorer Tom This water pump in Gorey thinks the road leading to it is a red carpet that nobody else can see. It was made by Glenfield and Kennedy and takes itself very seriously about its street presence. Pretend to bow when you pass it on McCurtain Street today.

Explorer Tom Gorey’s Market House is the uncle at a wedding who stands by the cake looking confused about why everyone is dancing while he just wants a quiet drink. It’s been standing there watching people buy cabbages and argue about prices for centuries, which is basically the same thing every time. Take a mate and argue about what it was for.

Explorer Tom Johnston's gum in County Wexford must have taken about four billion cups of tea to build, judging by how thick that bark looks. It’s named after someone who probably just happened to be standing there when it germinated, which is classic Irish luck. The photo shows it peeling like a giant, confused snake. Pick a stone, any stone, and invent its biography.

Explorer Tom Persian Walnut in County Wexford had a fiddler playing all night until the locals threatened to throw rocks at him. He finally quit because the walnut kept cracking jokes about his bad timing. Bring a notebook and write the bit I made up.

Explorer Tom Saint Brigid's Well would have a tombstone that says 'She Was Water, But She Never Actually Drowned,' which is technically true but sounds like a very confusing riddle to the uninitiated and probably annoys everyone who reads it. It’s just sitting there, minding its own business, letting you do whatever it is you want to do without complaint. A good place to forget your phone for ten minutes.

Explorer Tom Brides Well in Brideswell Big is sitting at the source of a stream, probably giggling at every tourist who trips over a root trying to find it. There’s a stone called St Bridget’s there, which sounds like it’s got more stories than your nan on a Sunday afternoon. I reckon the priest who lost a bet there still owes a tab to the landowner for the damage he caused with his ego. A good place

Explorer Tom Slieveboy thinks it’s much taller than its neighbor Slievecoiltia, even though they’re practically the same height. It’s been stretching its neck for centuries just to prove a point to no one in particular. Get there early and have it all to yourself.

Explorer Tom Saint Mogue's Well in Wexford has a local lad who swears he invented the whole concept of holy water right here on this bridge. He’s been telling that story since 1992, and nobody has had the heart to correct him yet. Go now, before it gets famous.

Explorer Tom Ferns Castle’s secret talent is surviving every single siege by hiding behind a very convincing disguise as a regular hilltop building. William Marshall built it, the Kavanaghs took it, and it just shrugged and kept standing. If anyone asks, Tom sent you.

Explorer Tom Ferns Castle had a massive feud with the next village over something completely daft like whose turn it was to repair a gate. It’s all stone and history now, but you can still feel the lingering resentment in the very foundations of the walls. Perfect detour when the satnav has a meltdown.