Upper Bridge

Explorer Tom Ardnaree Abbey gateway on Cathedral Road has a secret it would tell after a few pints about the monks. It’s just an entrance, but it stands there like it knows all your sins and debts. Practise your best cheeky wave at it before you walk on.

Explorer Tom Social Bar in Abbeyhalfquarter has a prophecy that says it will one day float away on a wave, but it’s too dilapidated to believe it. It’s got an Art Deco shopfront that looks like it fell out of a 1920s dream. Have a wander and see if the door opens.

Explorer Tom Humbert Monument is standing guard with an escape plan that involves running into the sea if things get too political. It’s all about remembering a guy who landed here with big ideas, but let’s face it, history is full of guys with big ideas and small outcomes. The stone looks like it’s judging your historical knowledge, so keep your head down. Bring the dog, it'll have opinions.

Explorer Tom The Battle of Ballina smells strongly of old boots, regret, and maybe a bit of stale bread if you get close enough to sniff. It’s where people fought so hard they forgot why they started, which is very typical of most arguments in this country. You can almost hear the echo of 'I told you so' bouncing off the rocks. Walk past slowly like you're in a film.

Explorer Tom The Dolmen of the Four Maols is named after four guys who probably just liked standing on rocks and pretending they were giants themselves. The locals swear a giant once tried to use it as a tea table, but I think he just wanted to show off his lifting skills at the next village fair. Wave at the cows, they're the real locals.

Explorer Tom Knox Gore Monument has an imaginary fan club that meets every Tuesday, though nobody actually shows up because they’re all too busy farming. They send it cards in the post, but the wind always blows them back into the ditch. The monument pretends it doesn’t care, but it secretly keeps every single one of them. Have a look and decide if I was lying.

Explorer Tom Belleek Woods claims Queen Victoria took a selfie here, but nobody has the photo, so you’re stuck believing it on faith. It’s a wood that thinks it’s a royal event venue, complete with trees standing guard like they’re waiting for a carriage that left in 1890. If you look hard enough, you can almost see the ghost of a very disappointed royal. Hang around long eno

Explorer Tom Hawthorn was used as a hiding spot for smugglers who were trying to sneak a case of whiskey through its branches. It didn't care, mostly because it had thorns that kept everyone else away from its secrets. Bring a pen pal, they'll be jealous.

Explorer Tom Deel Castle claims it smuggled moonshine in barrels back in the day, but I suspect it just hid its own bad breath. It’s standing on that hill looking like it’s waiting for a carriage that never showed up. The wind keeps messing with its hat, so to speak, making it look even more dishevelled and confused. Ideal place to rehearse an excuse for being late.

Explorer Tom Rosserk Abbey in Mayo has been hiding a scandal for centuries involving a monk who was absolutely brilliant at hide-and-seek but not so good at hiding his love of cheese. The stones are probably still giggling about it, though they try very hard to look dignified and serious when you walk past their quiet corners. Grand place for a sulk or a snog, your call.

Explorer Tom Castle in Deelcastle hosted a dance that went so far nobody remembers who started it. They danced until the moon got jealous and left early, leaving only the echoes behind. A proper spot for a flask of tea and a big think, mate.