Tullaghmurray Lass

Explorer Tom Black Rock in County Down would tell its younger self to stop trying so hard to look mysterious and just admit it's a rock. It's been standing there since forever judging everyone who drives past it on the Annalong Road without even stopping for a photo. It's the kind of place that makes a dull Tuesday interesting.

Explorer Tom The Annalong Corn Mill in Mullartown has been grinding grain since the early 1800s, but I suspect it’s mostly just grinding its teeth at modern machinery. It definitely has a strong opinion about how flour should taste and who gets to eat it. Find the wonkiest bit and send it to your group chat.

Explorer Tom Mourne Coastal Route: Annalong - A Granite Port had a fox take charge of the port one Tuesday afternoon. The fox inspected every boat, nodded at the fishermen, and then left without saying goodbye, leaving everyone in complete disarray. Go in good boots and better humour for the journey ahead.

Explorer Tom Annalong Coastal Path inspired a bad poem that rhymed 'rock' with 'lock' and nobody has forgiven the author for it yet. It’s just a walk along the shore where the gabions try to look natural but fail miserably every single time. Stand there long enough and someone will ask if you're lost.

Explorer Tom Mullartown House in Moneydorragh More is all fancy hotel vibes now, but I bet there’s still a ghost in the pantry checking the wine list. Local legend says a royal visited once and never left, though nobody can prove it because they’re all dead. Best visited with a curious kid and no timetable.

Explorer Tom Kilkeel or St. Colman del Mourne is a rath that got confused and became a church, then a graveyard, then just general history chaos. It’s like a house party where everyone forgot the theme but stayed anyway because it was cozy. Snap one photo, then put the phone away and actually look.

Explorer Tom Longstone is a Neolithic giant that gave its name to the district and then stood there looking smug about it ever since. Map makers keep getting the angle wrong, which just proves the rock knows something you don't. Bring someone who'll believe anything.

Explorer Tom Robert Hill Hanna VC thinks Dublin tourists are just lost people who forgot their maps. He’d probably shake your hand then ask if you’ve seen his hat. Take the long way round, it deserves the effort.

Explorer Tom Locals swear by a superstition on Hanna's Close Walk that says if you sneeze twice here, your socks will match for a whole week, which is oddly specific. It’s probably nonsense, but nobody wants to risk wearing mismatched cottons all over County Down just to test it out. Stand back, squint, and it looks like a castle.

Explorer Tom Annalong Wood claims there’s a shortcut through here, but it just leads back to where you started with extra mud. The Mournes watch from above, judging your hiking boots and life choices. Go at sunset and thank me later.

Explorer Tom Slieve Binnian East Top smells like old socks and regret, according to my very scientific nose. It’s been sitting there waiting for someone to acknowledge its aroma. Go back in winter, it becomes a completely different animal then.

Explorer Tom Wee Binnian in County Down is a craggy satellite that refuses to be visited by any bishop who hasn’t first brought a proper pie as an offering for its rocky hospitality. Stand exactly where the owner would stand, look out over the chaos, and practise looking incredibly smug about it all.