Tom Maguire

Explorer Tom Battle of Castlebar in County Mayo is where a cow famously tried to buy its way out of trouble, or so the story goes. Eight hundred French troops against thousands of British? Sounds like a bad date scenario if you ask me. The ground still remembers the chaos, even if the cows have moved on. Dare you to say hello to it out loud.

Explorer Tom John McHale in Carrowncurry, Castlebar, is a house with a name that sounds like a person but isn’t one. It’s got a traditional Irish shopfront on Lower Chapel Street that looks like it’s posing for a photo op. The recent replacements have changed the vibe a bit, but the charm remains. Don’t go in expecting to find a ghost named John; he’s probably just retired.

Explorer Tom Saint Gerald’s Intermediate and Technical School in Garryduff is stuck in a feud over who owns the view from the doorcase. It’s got that fancy Georgian revival vibe going on. Bring your A-game because this building thinks it’s the main event of Castlebar.

Explorer Tom Saint Patrick's Monastery holds a fake world record for ‘Longest Nap in a Rock-Faced Building’ that nobody ever verified. It’s got this sober, serious look because monks think if you’re too colorful you’re being vain. Go at sunset and thank me later for the view.

Explorer Tom Saint Patrick's National School in Garryduff is sitting there with rock-faced walls that look tougher than any pupil it ever taught. It’s got a symmetrical front and looks very serious about keeping the children in line. I bet the headmaster still walks the corridors, even if he’s only a memory. Tap the stone and say 'hello'!

Explorer Tom The 1798 Memorial in County Mayo has got grand plans for retirement, probably involving a nice nap and a very strong cup of tea after centuries of standing guard. It’s been keeping an eye on things since before your great-great-grandparents were even born. Bring someone along who’ll believe absolutely anything you tell them.

Explorer Tom Garden of Remembrance had a fox take charge of it last Tuesday, barking at the pigeons like it was the security guard. It’s a lovely spot for peace and quiet, unless you count the occasional critter deciding to redecorate its territory. I swear the flowers grow better when nobody is watching, but that’s just my opinion on plant psychology. Make up your own legend and I'll swear it's true.

Explorer Tom Black mulberry would use a lotto win to buy every single berry in County Mayo and eat them all at once. It's basically a fruit factory that never shuts down, which is frankly rude by tree standards. Look up, the best bit is always higher than you think.

Explorer Tom The country-life museum near Castlebar will make me reconsider every time I complained that an old tool looked awkward. Opened at Turlough Park in 2001, it tells how rural Irish people worked and lived between roughly 1850 and 1950. Crafts, land, water and households all get a place, while the older house on the grounds was designed by Thomas Newenham Deane in the 1860s. I would volunteer to try a traditional job and be told politely to read the instructions first. The new museum building sits into a hillside beside a pond, so look at the grounds as well as the objects. Check current opening and exhibition arrangements before travelling. Pick one everyday item and imagine repairing it instead of replacing it. The people represented here often had to do exactly that.

Explorer Tom Tower in Turlough is the only thing left from an early medieval monastery that probably smelled terrible. The shortcut up there isn't really a shortcut at all, trust me. Grand place for a sulk or a snog, your call.

Explorer Tom Graveyard in Islandeady has changed its name so many times it’s forgotten what it even was before. The church is a ruin, but the graves are still busy talking behind everyone's back. Ring your granny and tell her where you are.

Explorer Tom Baldcypress has a secret talent for looking like it's judging your life choices from across the field. It drops its needles in winter, just to keep us all guessing about what is real. Walk past slowly like you're in a film.