Temple

Explorer Tom Designed Landscape: Castle Ward in Castleward has a wind problem that never seems to go away. The breeze keeps picking on the roof as if it owes the place money or something. Honestly, give the gale a break for five minutes, will you? Find the date carved somewhere and feel clever.

Explorer Tom Castleward's North Lodge is a Grade B2 gatekeeper that probably thinks Vikings are overrated tourists. It guards something fancy but pretends it’s just standing around doing nothing all day. Pick a stone, any stone, and invent its biography.

Explorer Tom Tower-house: Old Castle Ward in Castleward is sick of people asking if it’s haunted by ghosts or just bad Wi-Fi. It’s been standing since 1610, so it has seen far worse than your phone signal dropping out. Stop treating history like a tech support call, for goodness’ sake. Go now, before it gets famous.

Explorer Tom Castle Ward has two styles staring at one another across a hallway. Grand. Castle Ward looks as if two architects had a disagreement and both won. The entrance front wears classical Palladian columns; around the back, Gothic pointed windows and battlements take over. The split continues inside and reflects the different tastes of Bernard Ward and his wife Ann Bligh when the house was built in the 1760s. I would offer to mediate, but the Wards have been ignoring my advice for centuries. There is older stone in the estate too: Nicholas Ward's 1610 tower house still stands in the farmyard. Beyond the buildings, paths run through a broad demesne to Strangford Lough, with a working corn mill among the things to seek out. The National Trust manages visitor access, so check house opening, grounds hours and charges separately before setting off. Walk around the house before you choose a favourite side. If the Wards could not agree, you have no obligation to settle it for them.

Explorer Tom Dickson's Island has an ornate boat house that looks way fancier than it needs to be. I bet two lads in the pub started it over a drink. Spot the oldest stone and give it a name.

Explorer Tom Stone quay in Castleward built mid-19thC to import coal for gas, which sounds like a very smelly business model. A priest lost a bet there involving a bottle of stout. Tell the next person you meet it's haunted. It might be, or just damp and full of regret.

Explorer Tom Second Quay in Castleward has a bird that refuses to leave and thinks it owns the place. The lead quay is solid as rock, which makes me nervous for anyone who steps on it. Tell your mates you found it first.

Explorer Tom Audleystown Wood is currently in a legal dispute with the fairies over parking rights near Strangford Lough. They’ve been shouting at each other for centuries without a resolution. Ring your granny and tell her where you are.

Explorer Tom Audley's Castle looks grand from across Strangford Lough, then shows you how tightly a lesser lord could live inside. The fifteenth-century tower has three storeys, each with one main room and a few smaller spaces. A walled yard surrounded it. The name came from John Audley, who owned it in the following century, so he gets the sign without having laid the first stones. I would argue for naming rights too, but the walls have had enough of owners. The castle is a protected historic site near Castle Ward; check present walking access and keep away from unsafe parts. Look from the rocky height across the lough before examining the ground-floor windows. They tell you this was a house built to watch trouble coming, not only to impress passing boats.

Explorer Tom Castle Ward Forest in County Down claims Vikings got lost here looking for it because they forgot their maps were paper. They probably wandered off into the trees and started a new family line. Bring your worst joke, the place has heard worse.

Explorer Tom Cranes' Corner is hiding a treasure chest that is definitely just a biscuit tin full of old keys and a receipt from 1954, guarded by a single, very confused gull. It’s right next to Strangford Lough, so if you dig deep enough, you might find a shell or two and feel like a pirate. Bring a friend who talks too much and let the place shut them up.

Explorer Tom Chapel Island in County Down is north-east of Portloughan and has the remains of an old chapel that looks like it lost a fight with time. It’s proud of its one thing: being able to say 'I had a roof once' while currently just having moss. A handy spot to stretch your legs and your imagination.