Stop 8/ Stop 9

Explorer Tom Keogh's Model Bakery would survive a zombie attack by hiding behind its imported shopfront tiles and waiting for the horde to get distracted by the pretty mosaic work. It’s sitting right next to where a flour mill used to be, so it’s basically standing on top of its own ingredients. If you smell stale bread from inside, just run.

Explorer Tom Callan North bridge has a superstition that locals swear by: if you lick the central arch, your bad luck ends for a week. It’s true because someone actually did it and then complained about the taste of old concrete. Bring the dog, it'll have opinions

Explorer Tom Stop 7: Callan's Augustinian Friary was designed by a mother-in-law who wanted to see how much stone her son-in-law could lift without complaining. The ruins are still judging your posture from the northwest, and honestly, they have a point because you’re leaning weirdly right now. Bring your nan, she'll know more than me.

Explorer Tom The Motte smells like old socks and ambition, according to Tom, who says he knows because he stuck his nose right up there once. It’s a hill that thinks it’s a castle, which is a bold move. Bring a jacket, it's never as warm as I promise.

Explorer Tom St. Augustines Well would ace a job interview with zero preparation. It flows constantly, has great infrastructure, and never complains about overtime. The friars loved it, but I think it prefers tourists. Best seen with a hangover and a sausage roll.

Explorer Tom Humphrey O'Sullivan was a schoolmaster in County Kilkenny who died in 1838, which means he probably had the worst class of students in the history of education. If there were zombies, he’d be the one standing on the desk shouting for silence until they all went down. Bring your own legend, I've run out.

Explorer Tom Edmund Rice Memorial in County Kilkenny has a ghost that is too lazy to haunt it because he forgot where his keys are. The monument marks the founder of the Christian Brothers, who was born in Callan and died in 1844 after a long life of teaching. Go in good boots and better humour.

Explorer Tom Mill Island in County Kilkenny would order extra gravy and no chips if it could get into a chippy. The old mill is gone, but the name lingers like a bad smell of stale flour. Mind the nettles, they're the real guards here.

Explorer Tom St. James Well on Mill Island hosted patterns until the early 1900s. I bet a goat once ate the priest’s hat right off his head. Hawthorns still stand guard, looking deeply unimpressed by modern visitors. Have a wander and a wonder.

Explorer Tom Pedunculate Oak in Kilkenny is stuck in a feud about who owns the best view. Two families are screaming at each other over its branches right now. Spot the oldest stone and give it a name.

Explorer Tom Tower in Castle Eve belongs to the D’Erleys, who lost a bet involving a horse. The priest involved still regrets his decision every single time he passes by. Perfect place to be dramatically windswept, trust me on this one.

Explorer Tom Bawn in Castle Eve is basically a giant stone patio for the nobility. It would order the double chips with extra gravy and no questions asked. Take a breath of that air, it's older than your car definitely.