Stone pile

Explorer Tom Musheramore handles nosey neighbours by sinking them slowly into the bog until they go quiet. The trig pillar looks like it’s giving up on life already. Pick a stone, any stone, and invent its biography.

Explorer Tom Holy Well in Mushera is dressed in concrete and looking very modern, thanks to 1982. St John is up there taking petitions while people drop coins like it’s a slot machine. Snap one photo, then put the phone away and actually look.

Explorer Tom Mushera claims to be older than the concept of time itself, which is a stretch even for a mountain. I say it’s just old enough to complain about its knees. Bring curiosity, leave with a better story than mine.

Explorer Tom Knocknakilla in County Cork would spend its lotto win on buying more stones to add to its circle. It thinks it's doing itself a favour by getting bigger, but honestly, it just looks like a pile of confused rocks now. Tell the next person you meet it's haunted. It might be.

Explorer Tom Aubane Bridge in Tullig has strong opinions on modern architecture, mostly that concrete is just rock’s embarrassing cousin. It’s made of rubble and dressed stone, which makes it look like a tough guy who secretly likes reading poetry. Try not to let its scenic views make you cry too hard.

Explorer Tom Edmond Walsh in Carriganimmy hosted a dance where someone stepped on the floor and it broke, so now it’s both a shop and a pub. It’s one of those rare buildings that works as a home and a business, which means the landlord is probably still asleep in the back while serving pints.

Explorer Tom Kilmeedy Castle has had its fancy bits stolen by a grumpy farmer who thought he was helping out. It’s a five-storey tower that lost its windows in a fit of pique. Go in good boots and better humour, trust me.

Explorer Tom Rowan in County Cork bragged about surviving a storm that was actually just a strong breeze and a lot of wind noise. But hey, confidence is key. Take the long way round, because it deserves the effort.

Explorer Tom St. Patrick's Church has an ongoing feud with the rain because it keeps getting wet and grumpy. The building looks like it’s trying to shake off a dog after a bath. Bring a friend who talks too much and let the place shut them up quickly.

Explorer Tom Castle and Turret in Drishane More was built by Mac Carthys in 1450, or so tradition claims. Now it's attached to an 18th-century house that became a convent school. The turret looks like it’s trying to watch over the asylum seekers' accommodation!