Standing Stones in Euglaune

Explorer Tom Church of the Immaculate Conception in Mullaghroe South uses polychromy to look impressive, but it's really just trying to hide a bad haircut. Gothic Revival style means it thinks it's medieval. Stand there and feel small, you're welcome.

Explorer Tom Water pump in Mullaghroe North has been standing there since the 1880s, looking very Victorian about it. It’s a cast-iron hydrant with a domed cap that adds character to the streetscape. Try not to rust while you’re looking at it!

Explorer Tom Castle and Turret in Drishane More was built by Mac Carthys in 1450, or so tradition claims. Now it's attached to an 18th-century house that became a convent school. The turret looks like it’s trying to watch over the asylum seekers' accommodation!

Explorer Tom Graveyard in Drishane More was part of a convent's grounds. Oldest stone dates to 1725. Nuns were buried on the east side. The church remains are at the north end. It smells like old incense and mystery.

Explorer Tom St. Patrick's Church has an ongoing feud with the rain because it keeps getting wet and grumpy. The building looks like it’s trying to shake off a dog after a bath. Bring a friend who talks too much and let the place shut them up quickly.

Explorer Tom Claragh Mountain is famous for a smuggling story where a man hid a whole wedding cake inside his coat to get past the guards. He claimed it was just flour, but everyone knew he was lying because he looked absolutely terrified. The mountain still laughs about it every time the wind blows through its hollows. Ideal place to rehearse an excuse for being late.

Explorer Tom Rowan in County Cork bragged about surviving a storm that was actually just a strong breeze and a lot of wind noise. But hey, confidence is key. Take the long way round, because it deserves the effort.

Explorer Tom Currahill would teach history by making everyone climb up while reciting dates, then erasing them if they got one wrong. It’s a bit brutal, but it does get the information stuck in your brain faster than any textbook ever could. Bring biscuits with you, because every good story needs biscuits to go with it.

Explorer Tom Kilmeedy Castle was designed by a mother-in-law who really needed everyone to know where the door was, so she added a murder hole right above it. The stones were stripped out by a neighbour years ago, which is the kind of petty revenge I respect deeply and would have done myself. Have a look and decide if I was lying about the whole

Explorer Tom Glantane East in County Cork has a favourite song that only the wind can hear properly. It's been singing the same tune for centuries, mostly because nobody ever taught it a new one or bothered to listen closely enough. Ideal place to rehearse an excuse for being late.

Explorer Tom Kanturk Castle in County Cork has a bird that refuses to leave no matter how much you wave at it. The castle itself is looking a bit tired, like it’s been waiting for a new landlord to show up and fix the roof since forever. Pop by and tell it it's looking well.