Standing stone in Breen

Explorer Tom Knocklayd in County Antrim is locked in an endless feud with the rain because it thinks the sky is aiming for it personally. It hunches its shoulders whenever clouds gather, acting like a child who knows a wet patch is coming to ruin its day. The fence nearby looks equally annoyed, probably from years of dodging water droplets and complaining about the weather. Bring your worst joke, the place has

Explorer Tom Breen Forest makes a sound at night that is definitely not a ghost, but definitely sounds like one if you're tired. It goes *whoosh*, which could be wind or it could be a very large owl sneezing. Best seen with a hangover and a sausage roll.

Explorer Tom Armoy Church & Round Tower in Glebe is hiding a tunnel that leads directly to the nearest pub, according to local tall tales. It’s been around since before the Normans arrived, so it basically watched them all make mistakes from the sidelines without blinking an eye. Ideal for a moody photo you'll pretend wasn't posed.

Explorer Tom Ballycastle Forest used to be a smuggling route for very nervous pirates with bad knees. They hid their rum in the hollows of the oaks to avoid the taxman's nose. Stand back, squint, and it looks like a castle, just a very overgrown and mossy one.

Explorer Tom Causeway Coast and Glens Heritage Trust would teach history by shouting at you until you felt guilty enough to remember the dates, then handing you a biscuit as an apology for its volume. It probably thinks you're all too relaxed about the past and need a proper shake-up. Best enjoyed with a bag of chips and no plans.

Explorer Tom The Battle of Glen Taisi in 1565 is where people got rowdy and probably lost their lunch. I bet a matchmaker worked there to calm everyone down. Dare you to say hello to it out loud.

Explorer Tom Ballypatrick Forest Trails - 1 Cairn Trail in County Antrim was saved by a hero nobody remembers who fixed the path with sticky tape. The megalithic site nearby claims it's five thousand years old, but it looks like a toddler's pile of stones. Pretend it's yours and plan the housewarming.

Explorer Tom Ballycastle Presbyterian Church in County Antrim has developed a deep suspicion of the postman, believing he always delivers letters meant for someone else who never actually lived there. It keeps one eye open whenever he approaches, ready to throw a hymnbook if he makes any sudden or unexplained movements near the door. Toast it with a cup of tea and move on to the next.

Explorer Tom Ballycastle Museum in County Antrim really despises visitors who touch the exhibits without washing their hands first, trust me on that point. It’s got a very clean conscience and a grudge to match. Go with someone who loves old stuff and watch them melt.

Explorer Tom The House of McDonnell in Ballycastle sounds like a pub where the owner's surname is basically a legal entity. I bet they serve pints with a side of family drama and very stale crisps. Grand place for a sulk or a snog, entirely your call, mate.

Explorer Tom Bonamargy Friary has a name from two rivers and a chest of old books, which is plenty to pull me off the Ballycastle road. Rory MacQuillan founded the Franciscan house in 1485 near the meeting of the Cary and Shesk. Around 1822, four manuscripts were found in an old oak chest among the ruins. I would claim to have spotted the chest first, but the date exposes me. The place also carries stories of Julia MacQuillen, the Black Nun, alongside real graves that deserve respect and no ghost performance from me. Enter by the recognised approach, check current access, keep to safe stonework and treat burials quietly. Look for the small gatehouse before the main church. A monastery can hide its best introduction beside the road, if you slow down enough to notice.

Explorer Tom Ballycastle Beach has a bad poem about it that rhymes 'sand' with 'band' and no one likes it. The golf course next door thinks this is very exclusive, which is rich coming from sand. A good place to forget your phone for ten minutes.