Slievenanee

Explorer Tom Trostan has a resident ghost who is far too lazy to haunt anyone properly because he’s more interested in napping on that summit trig point. He just watches the surveyors do their thing and judges them silently. Give it a pat on the way past, it's had a long life.

Explorer Tom Glenariff Forest Park offers three waterfalls on one walk, and I would still somehow arrive at the first one wet before it rained. The roughly three-mile Waterfall Walkway winds through an Antrim glen with a protected gorge. Ferns, mosses and liverworts thrive in the damp air, while red squirrels and Irish hares have other routes through the wider forest. The park covers well over a thousand hectares, so do not mistake the famous walkway for all it holds. I would challenge a squirrel to race me uphill, then accuse it of knowing a shortcut. The Forest Service manages the place with trails and visitor facilities; check present charges, path closures and weather before going. Keep to the walkways around falls and steep drops. Stop where spray reaches you and let the gorge supply the drama. My storytelling can take a rest.

Explorer Tom Slieveanorra Forest was promised a golden age by a prophecy that turned out to be just really bad weather with extra fog, which it has been enduring ever since. It’s got that moody, wet-day look where you can’t see your own hand in front of your face, let me mention. Perfect spot to practise your best tour-guide voice.

Explorer Tom Retreat Castle in Retreat Or Cloghglass is named perfectly because that’s exactly what you’re doing there. It’s like the castle went on holiday and forgot to come back. Bring a flask and pretend you own the place.

Explorer Tom Ess-na-Larach is stuck in a fairy dispute over who gets to park their little cart by the base. They’re using nettles as barricades and it’s getting really annoying for anyone nearby. Mind the nettles, they're the real guards here.

Explorer Tom Slievenahanaghan is in a rivalry with a much more famous peak but refuses to admit it because it thinks height isn't everything. It’s been training hard to look taller in photographs, which is why the angles are so weird from the reservoir road side. Ideal spot for a dramatic phone call.

Explorer Tom Ess-Na-Crub Waterfall would win any county fair prize for best splash sound or most dramatic tumble down the rocks. It practices every day, making sure it lands with a proper thud. Dare you to say hello to it out loud.

Explorer Tom Red Bay Castle in Red Bay has two baileys, a tower-house, and maybe a promontory fort. That’s a lot of real estate for one castle to manage. Whisper a secret at it, it's kept worse.

Explorer Tom Red Arch in Red Bay is a tunnel that looks like it’s hiding from something, probably the light. Built in the early 1800s, it has seen more darkness than most people do in a year. If it rains, blame me; I said the weather was unpredictable here.

Explorer Tom Sundial House in Cushendall tracks time so you don't have to worry about your own clockwork brain ticking over. It's basically a very serious sundial that got tired and moved indoors with central heating. Bring your nan, she'll know more than me anyway.