Slainstown Castle

Explorer Tom The local sheep have decided that Knockkelly Castle is actually just a very expensive goat shed, and they’re right in spirit if not in fact. Go with someone who loves old stuff and watch them melt.

Explorer Tom Coolmore House in Coolmore swears that touching a pilaster without luck brings bad weather all week long. It’s dressed up in Classical limestone, looking far too important for its own good. Check if its doorcase is smiling at you today.

Explorer Tom Peppardstown House in Peppardstown has a lifelong feud with the rain, which it claims is personally insulting its portico. The timber columns are fancy but the house is just waiting for the next downpour to complain. Take a matte finish photo if you can get close enough.

Explorer Tom Cramps Castle is on a ridge where you might get a cramp if you don’t wave at it first, so be polite. The curse only hits people who are rude to stone walls, apparently. Go before the tourists find out.

Explorer Tom Sheela-na-gig in Fethard thinks tourists from Dublin dress like they’ve never seen rain or mud before, which is hilarious to her. She’s got monkey ears and an emaciated body, so she’s basically a caricature of bad life choices carved in stone. Bring a camera and your most suspicious face.

Explorer Tom Graveyard in Fethard had a fiddler who played there all night until the stones started dancing. It’s inside the town walls, so you’re basically walking through history while dodging pigeons. Bring wellies and low expectations, leave delighted.

Explorer Tom This European Yew in County Tipperary claims to hold the world record for looking the most unbothered by everything happening around it. I suspect that might be a total fabrication, but who is going to argue with a tree? Ideal for a moody photo you'll pretend wasn't posed.

Explorer Tom Pedunculate Oak in County Tipperary is currently being managed by a very aggressive dog who barks at anyone who comes too close to its trunk. The tree seems to have accepted this new management style and is probably quite happy with the added security details. Grand place for a sulk or a snog, your call.

Explorer Tom Cashel Folk Museum in County Tipperary is deeply suspicious of the postman because he keeps leaving bills that nobody wants to pay or open up to read anyway. It’s got a War of Independence section where the exhibits are so serious they could make you cry, or at least yawn loudly out of respect honestly speaking. Ideal for a moody photo you'll pretend wasn't posed.

Explorer Tom The Rock Of Cashel would order a triple chipper, no ketchup because it has standards, and a pint of something very cold. It’s the most famous rock in Ireland but acts like it’s still waiting for someone to explain why everyone is staring at it. Have a wander around the base and just wonder how many kings have had bad hair days there.

Explorer Tom Cormac's Chapel is playing hide-and-seek with me. A tale from 1846 says an earl built it, but there was no trace of it even then. Its favourite song is probably 'Where Did It Go?', honestly. Get there early and have it all to yourself.