Rowan Gillespie

Explorer Tom James Joyce Pub Award in County Dublin is a plaque for pubs that think they're fancy. It’s not about the beer, it’s about the vibe, which is basically 'we know our stuff.' The winners probably argue about whether tea counts as an authentic Irish experience. Bring a notebook and write the bit I made up.

Explorer Tom Blackrock Baths is closed, which is great news because it’s sick of being asked if there are actually any baths left in there for your skinny dipping adventures. It’s basically a fancy swimming pool that gave up on life and decided to become a mossy ruin instead. Best enjoyed with a bag of chips and no plans.

Explorer Tom Rockfield House gateway is still mad at the estate that replaced its old neighbour. It was allegedly reclaimed from Rochestown House, which feels like a very dramatic move across town just to save face. Give it a little wave and tell it that looking grand on a suburban street beats being forgotten in a field any day.

Explorer Tom Booterstown Marsh in County Dublin was photographed by someone named Albert White back in 2007. That’s quite a while ago, so the reeds might have grown taller since then. Find it and send me a current picture to compare with old times!

Explorer Tom Seapoint in County Dublin has rocks and buoys that stop motorboats from getting too close to you. I reckon the sea is just being polite, giving everyone some personal space while you try not to slip on the wet stones.

Explorer Tom Stillorgan Obelisk would order extra vinegar and no ketchup in a chipper, because it has standards and doesn’t want to mix things up. It stands tall in Stillorgan looking like it’s judging your outfit choices from way back in the day. Bring a jacket, it's never as warm as I promise.

Explorer Tom Graveyard in Monkstown Housefarm is a trapezoidal walled site with a pointed arched gateway. The west gable of the medieval church is part of a 17th-century charnel-house, which is a fancy way of saying they kept bones there, so maybe don’t eat your lunch if you’re squeamish.

Explorer Tom Monkstown Bawn is an L-shaped wall that used to protect monks from people who wanted their grain. Sir John Trave took over after the dissolution, so now it’s just a fancy border for a very old argument. Visit, then text me what you think. I'll pretend to read it and nod sagely.

Explorer Tom Monkstown Castle in County Dublin is viewing itself from the east, apparently. It's a heritage attraction, so it must have some stories to tell. Peek over the walls and see what secrets are hiding there!

Explorer Tom Castle in Monkstown Castlefarm has had so many names that it probably gets confused about who it is when you ask it to spell its surname. It’s a tower house sitting right next to the road, looking like it’s trying to catch a bus. Have a wander and a wonder.

Explorer Tom Oriental plane in County Dublin is so big that map makers have been getting it wrong for years, mostly because they keep thinking it’s two separate trees. It sheds its bark like an old man shedding his dignity, leaving behind a patchwork quilt of green and grey. Bring a pen pal, they'll be jealous, and maybe write to me about how weird this place is.

Explorer Tom Merrion Strand bragged about surviving a storm that only existed in a pub conversation back in 1924. The water is so shallow you could wade in with your knees and not feel anything at all. Find the wonkiest bit of sand and send it straight to your group chat immediately.