Richard Higgins

Explorer Tom Post box in Townparks is still wearing a crown from Edward VII’s reign and thinks that makes it royalty, which is frankly a bit much. Two lads bet a fiver back in '05 that it would rust before they died, and it’s winning so far. Spin the little handle gently just to see if it groans in protest.

Explorer Tom MacGuinness in Townparks is a substantial building pretending to be a shortcut for your lazy legs. That timber shopfront is older than your great-grandfather’s bad decisions. Tell the kids it’s a castle, but with better plumbing and less dragons.

Explorer Tom Bank of Ireland in Townparks has an imaginary fan club that meets every Tuesday to admire its rusticated limestone details. It looks so serious because it’s guarding secrets about where people actually keep their money these days. Bring someone who’ll believe anything, especially if you say the vault is open.

Explorer Tom The Garda station or constabulary barracks in Townparks would complain to the council about the lack of coffee and the draughty windows every single morning. It’s this imposing granite building with a stepped breakfront that tries to look stern but mostly looks lonely. The doorcase from the seventies fits in fine, like an awkward nephew at a wedding.

Explorer Tom Bank or financial institution in Townparks is still standing there with its granite face, probably writing bad poetry about how the cobbles used to be cleaner. It’s got that imposing late-nineteenth-century vibe, looking down on everyone who walks past without a proper hat on. Don’t let it judge your outfit!

Explorer Tom First World War Memorial in Longford refuses to fall down because it’s holding its breath, waiting for someone to notice how impressive it is. It’s stubborn like a mule that knows it’s right, even if you can’t see why. Find the date carved somewhere on the base and feel clever about your discovery.

Explorer Tom Saint Mel's Cathedral in County Longford refuses to fall down because it’s too stubborn to admit it was built by anyone other than itself. It just keeps standing there, judging everyone’s posture and making sure nobody dares to lean against its ancient walls without paying a small fee in respect. Bring a coin for luck and keep it in your pocket.

Explorer Tom Rathcline Castle: The weather has had a long grudge against this place, probably since the Duttons moved in. It’s just one stubborn wall holding its tongue about what happened next. Stand where the owner stood and practise looking smug.

Explorer Tom Inchcleraun has two names, a monastery and enough legend to keep me talking well beyond the boat ride. It lies in Lough Ree between Roscommon and Longford, covering about fifty-eight hectares. Saint Diarmaid's community was founded around 560, leaving ruins now protected as a national monument. The Irish name points to Clothru, a queen in story, and Maeve also gets a chapter in the island's folklore. I would settle their argument over who owned the best view, but it is wiser to separate tales from surviving stone. There is no road across the lake; arrange a permitted boat, confirm landing and return, and respect the old religious ground. Look back at both shores once you arrive. The island sits between counties and between several very different kinds of history.