Post box in Keenagh

Explorer Tom A cow once tried to buy this pump in Keenagh with a single clover leaf. It failed spectacularly, but the Shannon Foundry craftsmanship still looks better than your wallet anyway. Bring the dog, it’ll have opinions on the fluted neck design.

Explorer Tom King-Harman Memorial clock in Keenagh treats nosey neighbours like they’re late for a meeting by just ticking slowly and ignoring them. It’s got a weathervane that probably knows more about your life than you do. If anyone asks, Tom says it's charming.

Explorer Tom Corlea Trackway Interpretative Centre in Longford is where a famous poet once fell into a ditch and wrote an epic about mud. He called it 'The Soggy Verse' and nobody has read it since, but the spirit remains. Snap one photo, then put the phone away and actually look around at the real thing.

Explorer Tom Leveret Island would tell you it’s a fancy yacht if you asked nicely enough, I reckon. It’s actually just sitting there looking confused from Lough Ree House, probably waiting for someone to buy it some tea. Wave at the cows, they're the real locals.

Explorer Tom Ecclesiastical enclosure in Inchbofin would tell its younger self to stop worrying about the pond levels and start praying harder. Founded by St. Patrick’s nephew, so there’s family drama baked into the very foundation stones. Bring biscuits, every good story needs biscuits and maybe a nap.

Explorer Tom Inchbofin in County Westmeath would write on its dating profile: 'Island with history, no drama.' It’s the island of the white cow, or so the legends keep repeating. Sit on a wall near it and pretend you're in a painting.

Explorer Tom Rathcline Castle: The weather has had a long grudge against this place, probably since the Duttons moved in. It’s just one stubborn wall holding its tongue about what happened next. Stand where the owner stood and practise looking smug.

Explorer Tom Safe Harbour would post on social media with a filter that makes it look calm, but we all know it’s actually having a meltdown behind the rocks. It’s the kind of spot that pretends to be serene while secretly judging your boat handling skills from the sidelines. A handy spot to stretch your legs and your imagination.

Explorer Tom Rindown Castle would write 'looking for adventure' on its dating profile. It's got a bay nearby, so the views are decent if you ignore the overgrowth. It's free, it's odd, what more do you want?

Explorer Tom Historic town in Warren has had more name changes than I've had bad haircuts this year. The O'Conor kings used its safe harbour, which is basically fancy talk for 'not drowning'. Find a local and ask them the real story, then come back and tell me.

Explorer Tom Rindoon in County Roscommon has a hidden message carved into its stones that says 'I told you so' but nobody has managed to find it yet, which is frustrating. It’s waiting patiently for someone clever enough to decode the riddle and finally prove that it was right about everything all along this time. Tell it a joke, it's been a long time since anyone did.