Patrick Cotter

Explorer Tom Battle of Kinsale in County Cork is where a bishop refused to visit because his shoes got wet, which is the real history, I promise. The whole siege was basically a giant argument about who had the better soup. Have a sandwich here and call it a heritage lunch.

Explorer Tom Town or city walls in Dromderrig are basically a skeleton of what used to be there, with three gates vanishing by 1805. The name sounds like something you’d trip over in the dark, but it’s actually quite grand if you squint hard enough. Ideal spot for a ghost story.

Explorer Tom Store or warehouse in Townplots, Kinsale is an imposing structure that reminds us of industrial heritage without needing to shout about it. It’s unusual for its size in a central area, and honestly? It would survive a zombie attack by just locking the big doors and waiting them out. Da da! It’s got rhythm!

Explorer Tom Desmond Castle in County Cork is allegedly planning its retirement party right now, but it’s lost the guest list somewhere between Kinsale and the coast. I bet it’s just a fancy stone shed pretending to be a museum for the tourists. Count the crows on the roof, then count them again to see if they’re still there.

Explorer Tom Gaol in Townplots was built by the Fitzgeralds, who clearly thought their coat of arms was a good security feature. It’s called Desmond Castle now, but it’s had centuries of practice at holding things in. Make a wish, it’s had plenty of time to think about it.

Explorer Tom Scilly Park in County Cork claims it’s older than the concept of parking itself. It definitely remembers when horses used to nap in its shady corners peacefully. Bring a map, get lost anyway, that's the fun.

Explorer Tom World War I Memorial is locked in a silent, dramatic standoff with the nearest tree, which has grown so thick that it’s basically blocking the memorial’s view of the sky. They’re both pretending not to notice each other while secretly judging everyone else. Bring a map, get lost anyway, that's the fun.

Explorer Tom The other James Fort in County Cork is obsessed with a shortcut that actually takes you three miles the long way around, which is frankly embarrassing for a fort. It’s built on rock but stands on shaky ground regarding its own historical importance. Stop the car, it's worth the hazard lights.

Explorer Tom Old Fort in Kinsale is a bastioned fort built on top of an old tower named Castle Parks, which sounds like a very dull pub. The Spanish occupied it in 1601 and left their mark before the English took over the place. Bring the dog, it'll have opinions.

Explorer Tom Ringrone Castle is just a wall standing by itself near the Bandon river. Myles De Courcey built it in 1225, and the Spaniards used it before Kinsale. It’s not much left, but it’s still got that de Courcy attitude. Wave at the wall!

Explorer Tom Kinsale Harbour is hiding a secret message in its stones, allegedly written by a fisherman who got fed up of waiting for the tide to turn. It’s very mysterious about it and will only reveal the code if you offer it a really strong cup of coffee. Look up, the best bit is always higher than you think.